Monthly Archives: July 2011

Come back Home…


Daddy I'm waiting

Daddy I’m tired of closing my eyes…
please come out if you’re hiding and let me hide.
Daddy you are cheating, don’t you realize?
Daddy please hug me and take me by your side…

Daddy, I promise I would always get an ‘A+’…
Daddy, I promise whenever you say ‘No’ I would never fuss…

Daddy please stop hiding…
Trust me daddy…my eyes are hurting….

without you

It’s raining again…
and you are not here.
They tell me you’re gone.
and I should learn to bear.

I want to see that whacky smile on Raina’s face….
I want to simper at her Question..and Ignore when she says..
” Mommy what are you doing…”

I want to close my umbrella and get into yours…
I want you to chide  me..” Grow up Dear! it’s been 12 years…
The kid is watching…can’t you behave??…
Stop being silly, stupid and naive!”

I promise I would never badger you with tea..when you want your coffee..
I promise when you get late… I would never get huffy.
I can’t believe you are gone…and  why should I?
they can never force me to bid you good bye…

The coffee is getting cold…
Please come back home.

It’s raining again..
and I am alone…

Come back son

Son, don’t you think you punished me a bit too more…
It’s been ages now that I am waiting at the door…

Come back home, you promised you will…
There’s a torturing silence no shriek could kill.

I promise you, I would never pick a strife…
She’s as much my daughter as she’s your wife…

I swear I would never smuggle sugar into my tea…
just tell me that you will never leave me.

She’s young , and pale and draped in white…
I can just beg God to take away my sight.

I try pestering her to stir a dispute…
But the day you were gone she has resolved to be mute.

Why did you give me this agony I never before knew?
Son if can’t come back, please take me with you….
Please Son, take me with you…

P.S:     The Mumbai blasts shook the world a bit and India a bit more…But it shook beyond repair,the families who lost their whole world with it ….

With more such instances on the rise in the world over…In India, in Norway..just to name a few recent ones… I ponder how has man forgotten to be human?

The one who goes is somebody’s son, somebody’s Father, somebody’s everything…as much as the one who stays and kills….

How can they overlook this greater similarity and pick up a difference that doesn’t even exist??

I could do nothing more than just write and So I did…and I want some people to know that they can do much more than just Hate.

May god bless the departed souls… and May God bless the ones who departed with their loved ones but are bound to stay back.

Once upon a MidNight…


The clock struck 12. The ominous moment had arrived. We glanced nervously at each other. Neither had done anything more sinister than this before. But we did not have the choice. The unimaginable had  already been done and there was no way it could be undone.

It could now only be hid under the darkness of the moonless sky. We had to act quick else the night would fade away.

The stench had been growing for a week now since we first shifted into this new apartment. We never knew we would be facing this.

Though god loving I had been equally satan- fearing. Signs and omens tested my faith in a flash and…I was forced to believe the unbelievable…

The day we shifted a big black cat jumped up on me while I was trying to climb up the stairs. I was knocked down hard as it jumped over me and disappeared into nothingness…

except for a few scratches and a broken hair clip all I could give myself was a pounding heart at the top of my throat.

But then I had to move on…though similar omens followed.

But now both drenched in cold sweat heaved the plastics extremely cautious not to leave any evidence of the ghastly act. The lights could be turned on in no condition as we struggled with the weight, the darkness and the stench…tottering through the 2nd..the 1st…and finally the ground floor…

ThumPP!! and ThuuuuDDD!!!

we RAN with the haste of the storm and the stealth of the breeze!!…

Huhh!

Gasp..gasp ..gasp…! Thank God nobody saw us…

Yet in the trauma of the macabre move I reminisced those peaceful days which now were a long lost dream…. 😦

I had asked my landlady..but she lied… I had talked to a few neighbours but they laughed at my “big issue”, I had requested the sweeper but she would refuse to open her mouth about it...Nobody in this new locality would tell me anything about it… until I met the laundry man…

He heard me right. Agreed to send someone who could be trusted with the

But in the end he eerily smiled…” Madam are you new in the neighbourhood?”….”That’s why? ”

that “that’s why” nearly choked my heart..”O dear lord..why the heck had I shifted!!” 😦

Seven days were too long for the countdown…

I would wait nervously at the door each morning since 5.00 before eventually moving out of the house. Nobody turned up…

the knowing dawned deep upon us that today was the day and tonight was THE night… the crawlers and wrigglers had begun to invade the rotting mass…The thought of it wrenched my stomach with dread and disgust.

But we somehow did it..

We gazed long at our accomplishment from the 3rd floor balcony… it wasn’t long before  somebody would pick “it” up and nobody “perhaps” would know who did it..except for that strange dog who sniffed us close!..

I looked at her and said…I never knew I would miss the dustbin so much!! eventually even we have joined the club of Delhi’s Rich and Famous!! 😛

The locality is all posh and pompous with a split ac in each room…a sedan for each of the members above 18…all sorts of smart gadgets fill all their lives and all exquisite jewellery adorn all their wives !! But somehow none of these multi millionaires have felt the need of a mere dustbin…

Each day each moment the rubble may come form anywhere and from any floor… aaaannnd adorn your freshly bathed body before proudly claiming its throne on the streets!! 😛

Here people unscrupulously, unhesitatingly and with such untellable joy aim their exclusive, extraordinary garbage onto the streets….as if playing holi. 😛

May be this is what is called being “Filthy” rich 

We waited for 7 long days in our zealous attempt of finding a community dustbin or even hire a scrap collector but to no avail!! and eventually we had to play the inevitable holi that night. 😦

It won’t be long before we wouldn’t need to wait for the night fall and play the holi audaciously in broad day light! God save me from turning savage. 😦

When Government is ‘deeply saddned‘ by the meager 74.04% literacy rate… I wonder what great statistics can transform such a ‘great‘ a Functional Literacy to as high a figure as this!

But I am no complaining citizen to stay dumb…

As I reminisce those days when I proudly declared….”I love My India and I strive to make it Clean and Green.” ….I wait for the community dustbin to turn up (for which I have requested the MCD lead)…or the angelical scrap collector to knock my door one fine day! 😀

Meanwhile I will just wait and pray that I am not compelled to repeat that sordid sin again!! 🙂

O dear lord may our deep dark secret….

……melt into a dandy dream…( a community dustbin  !!) Quick Please!!

Amen!

The tale of a desperate blogger!


Well..this could be just a random post for most of you….so i warn you to proceed precariously if you have little time to spare….

but then  I need to boast and boast outrightly NOW to massage my long burrowed ego 😛 !!

N here I go…. 😀

Most  people read only as much in life as would enable them to keep in touch with the alphabets!!…(Sorry no offence people.. but yeah even i become so when it comes to my academic texts!!)…

In this world where time is money… something called books and blogs and that too of mere mortals like me, seem as interesting as buffaloes to most! 😦

Here …I have been writing for over an year now…and have been distributing my link like crazy sophomores do !! but to no avail…. 😦

A millinumber would bother to ever read that url 😦 ….a nanonumber would type it onto their keyboards ….a piconumber would be scared by the length of the articles and close it slam shut!….a femtonumber would read it with ‘remarkable endurance’  ….and ofcourse….the remaining….will drop in a generous COMMENT,  follow, vote or like my posts…and colour my plume!! huh!!! 😀 🙂

I wanna say thanx to all those..those last ones especially..who keep me going…:D

THANK YOU for your generosity!!!

apart from my family and needless to say my Sis Nickie ..my blog would be a forbidden jungle of words for the rest…..

AND this post of mine is dedicated to her for being such a cutie darling to me throughout my tough times!!

without an iota of encouragement from the real hard world that scrutinises you each moment of your life…i would question each of my motives…n each of my moves behind blogging…

“Do I blog to give a face to the ME in me….? Do I blog that people would say ..oooo you write awesome?…Do I blog, thinking that somebody ……in some corner of this damn big crazy world, will drop in a minute to tell me that an anonymous gal from a rustic corner of India matters to them…???? ” 😦

….errr….God knows what and what not!!

with each hour spent on one post…i would spend 2 hours waiting for a comment to drop in…refreshing the page each minute with the curiosity of a child…atlast giving up…ringing home and begging daddy and Golu (my Sis) to drop in a comment (without sometimes reading it if they donot have ample time!!) 😦

But then… Niki would always be my ardent follower..pour down her gracious words..full of praises on my blog…It would lift my sunken soul each time I was low…and I would certainly read and re-read her lines whenever I opened my blog…

The best part was she adored me and idolized whatever right or wrong I did…n would always openly declare how she was my Fan and would like to grow up into a “second Rocky nani” !!

Candidly i would confess that I love her chaste adulation!! 😛

So then one day she too started blogging (http://nickiesblog.wordpress.com) …I would share with her whatever little I knew about being a blogger..with the plain joy of being a naive blogger myself!

But then the trauma of waiting for an acknowledgement haunt her hard…as hard as it had haunt me too…

She had begun as a bubbly beginner…and soon blossomed into a budding author…  But then like me she wanted people to notice that she was no more the sleepy bud…the flower had bloomed…and It had to spread its fragrance….

Then there was this phase ..which may be every blogger goes through perhaps at least once….. withering from Passionate to Passive….

She continued while I took a sabbatical in october…sacrificing my passion for a long cherished dream….  Writing never ate my time…what ate it up was thinking about whether anybody would bother to read this post…if they would…will they like it…and the fantasies of featuring someday in the ” Best of Freshly Pressed posts of WordPress”….that of winning a Booker prize…and la…laaaa laaaaa….. 🙂 😀

then I thought..SO BE IT….I’m gonna have a siesta….I knew nobody was going to notice it anyway…jokes apart miss me!!

So the siesta transformed into slumber with the assured mannerisms of an employee who sleeps in his office with great confidence..knowing he would never be called upon for any work! 😛

But then she woke me up with her woes….  a mail from her splashed the water onto my face and while trying to open up her eyes…I managed to open up mine too…

I mailed her with high…hale…hearty words…and her unquestionable trust on me worked wonders…

She was happy…and continued..and as if to reinforce her trust on me her Fan following took on a killer spree!!..

It was then that I realized….we are all born great orators..only if we could become as passionate listeners as well!!

had I followed a speck of what I had advised her with such great a gusto…wouldn’t I have been as much happier??

I shook off my dormancy and blogged again…

this timed pretending to have become a zealous blogger..who blogs because she wants to blog….because she wants to give shape to her thoughts and give wings to her expressions….because she wants to rediscover herself being lost in the ocean of words….

Ofcourse…it made a difference…and I could feel it 🙂

comments flowed in ..not as much as Niki’s…but then certainly noticeable enough….

Mean while I discovered something called a FlagCounter to show the number of visitors to the blog…against their respective National flags… 🙂

and then one fine day…while I waited with bated breath to get just one more comment on my latest posts…..I got her mail…..

there were no comments on my blog…but the ecstasy of her mail was no less than perpetual delight.. 😀

I had never have been able to boast being a Glorious Big Blogger!!

But here I was puffed up in pride of being a Great Big Sister!! 🙂

Thanx to my Sweetheart…

Here goes her mail…..


I would read and reread her mail..each day until today..when I thought of bragging about it… 🙂

I can sense…how being acknowledged and cared for feels….as I wait with fingers crossed for my FlagCounter to increase each moment…!! 😛

It has robbed me off my sleep….and with eyes wide open I cook up ideas for my next post…the thirst for a little acknowledgement….. a generous comment, making me  desperately whisper ….”OOO dear just One more!!!…..”