Gone!! :( :(


They said it grows back. They said Its just a matter of time. They said its just a few strands of keratin after all… But a month passed by and not a hint of their promises visible yet.  I know Hair Goes. But Hair Never Grows. 😦

It was not just keratin.. It was my hair!! M Y   H A I R!!!

The sea level may rise 0.10 metres in a couple of decades..but my hair grows only 0.001 millimetre in a decade !!  And this very fact makes me feel rotten and decayed 😦

It had accepted a long journey from being shoved off in a Boys Barber Shop to being treated with overpriced spas in Lakme…From being bent, rolled, curled with Hair stylers from Paris …to never being combed for days together… From Hair grown, Hair fall, Hair loss…and now to Hair Gone!!! A long journey indeed.

At three, I could hardly wash my hands clean…But I knew too well to roll the drier like a beauty queen. Those were from Paris..gifts from my Uncle…and My Mummy didn’t know how to use them…so I was “forced” to take lead. 😛

After so much of struggle in becoming a self-taught hair stylist…I would be devastated every week when My cruel Granny and My Brutal Daddy would drag me by my arms to a barber’s shop and chop off my Head…Sorry.. I mean My Hair…But they are equivalent though :).. .. and that was when My Mummy had gone away to do her Masters…

School passed away…studies took over style and physics over fashion…My Head got preoccupied with what was In it rather than what was On it…

College started. College finished . I went unnoticed. The waves had given way to noodles then and four years slipped away intertwined in them.

JOB came . MONEY flowed….PRUDENCE followed …FRUGALITY seeped in and ASCETICISM creeped in.
Even the cheapest shampoo would seem utterly expensive after all the Cost Benefit Analysis…“so many ml..for sooooo many rupees!!??!!”  DROP IT!!

And there then I was crowned with  a Nest!!!…and this time I went from being unnoticed …to Ignored.

One Day The Bird woke. The Nest Broke.

I left the Job. Took up what my heart yearned to do.
I guess the best part of my life had started. I enjoyed being a Student..not just with wisdom but with wits as well.

Money was gone BUT  Charity came on. 🙂
I realised why so many people in India beg—Salary flows but Charity Overflows!! Gosh!!!
and I realised how there is always a difference between Daddy’s Money and yours.Asceticism vanished and materialism conquered… 😛

LAK ME…Take Me…!!
And they did!! The discount tempted me to ultimately do it….I Straightened my hair!!

It cost me  a fortune from my charity fund… But the joy of having it long and lusty…made me smile into the mirror for a almost a month… 😛

Spent Sleepless nights..lest the straightening would go away with the karate shots I practised in my sleep…Not so much for the look as much for the rupaiyah they took!!

Those days I felt like Brains with some Beauty as well 😀
For the first time what was on my head exponentially enhanced what was in it as well. Confidence,Cognizance and Compliments!!!

Results of a life defining exam were out. and there was Celebration as well!
Aaahh Life was a bliss!

Months passed. Strands curled.
I realised I had carved my niche in the world.

Results of another exam were awaited…
as split ends appeared unabated..

With daddy building a Bungalow, charity hit an all time low 😦
Austerity measures struck me hard.
I forgot those Expensive shampoos and conditioners I once had.
And with no money inside my wallet..
i decided to grow into a middle class mindset!!

Split ends cried for a long waited hair cut…
but empty purses screamed ‘if’ and ‘but’..

I thought..Giving away my precious hair with my precious money to those salon people??!!
Naaah..never…!Too profligate…
At Home. I thought..i would try my fate.

I convinced my PG aunty somehow…
But who knew the fateful day would be such fated now… 😦 😦 😦

Poor lady!! she mistook the short flicks at the face for the real length…
Aaaaaand….with a whish whush whash…. half of it was gone….

I felt…she had cut a little more….
but when I glanced at the ground…Oohhhhh came a roar…

sweat ran down my forehead and hers as well…

we both ran to a nearby Salon…my head covered in my jackets hood.
The knowing seeped in “Everything is destined my friend… The Salon… They can cut my hair..but I can’t cut their daily bread.”

She chit chatted more than she did her work…about how I was prettier than most other girls of Odisha she met… x(

I wish I could believe that… But her shoddy job with my already shoddy hair, devastated me beyond repair 😦

I came back home. Couldnot even scream into the mirror…lest my aunty would be guilty. It was certainly not her fault. I had faltered to give proper instructions…Ofcourse she didn’t know about any razor-laser stuff 😦
I silently wept myself to sleep…

Results of the exams followed….Pathetic. I had flunked :(:(

with the straight hair gone and creepy curls making way…I was sure to convince Daddy for some more Generous grants for another straightening session…But that was before the results. 😦

He didn’t know what the first session cost me yet… Mummy and I had fooled him then.

What he knew was, it was “high”…and that if somebody kidnapped me in total…he wouldn’t pay that much to get ME back…let alone my hair!! 😛 😦

But what he didn’t know was my definition of “high” was 10 times his!!

Dear lord…with hair gone,
Fate torn….
Exams screwed
and daddy rude..
what more??

I told daddy…”straight hair was my lucky charm…perhaps if I straighten it again I might pass the next test soon??!!”
But NO! NO NO NOOOOOO!!! None of it this time!!

I am told to stop being a beauty freak and start being a geek!!
Perhaps that would save me.

until then should I go on…??

Curly hair… Very fair..Teachers pet..is that you??
yes. Yes. YESS!!

No! Naaah! Never!!!

Rather…
No hair… Utter despair…Cursing your fate..is that you??
Oh yes!Yes!!Yes!!!

P.S: Tell me how many of you suffered this plight..so that I know I am not the lone cry baby!! 😛

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26 responses to “Gone!! :( :(

  1. Pingback: Reader Appreciation Award. Finally the First Award Arrives! Thank You Dear Kitty!! | Resonner's Blog

  2. Went through your blog today…was completely surprised….and I must say it’s awesome..:):)….Keep it up sweety..:)

  3. nice one bada nani

  4. A very nice one.hahahaaa.i am nt able to stop my laugh.i know how important hair is for someone.it reflects the personality of a person.may god always bless ur hair.hahahaaha.KEEP ON WRITING FUNNY BLOG LIKE THIS.

  5. You look cute even otherwise.

  6. Highly riveting blog post. I think your blog is pretty riveting. I look forward to discover more such in the near future.

  7. haha..satirical comedy at its best..awesome 😀 – fancy

  8. You made me laugh after so long! Thanks!

  9. i dont wanna talk about your hair. but, you look pretty serious with your glasses on.

  10. tera sir wapus hara bhara ho jaega….dont take tension.. cry baby;-)

  11. nice one di..same is the case with me too…hahaha:)

  12. Interesting article – thank you. I think your blog is very engrossing. I would like to see even more soon.

  13. same happened with me last year..i even remember the date Mar 6….n u wont imagine my anger when the hair dresser said ‘Mam, now u luk sexy”….
    chill baby..u will get it back soon…:):)

  14. Hahahaa…
    Good One…

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