UnOfficially Her – #nofilters

#1 Why Write? Why not Write?


People often flood me with questions and requests regarding “strategy” and “tips” to ‘Crack UPSC ‘ , to become IAS.  And with all due respect, I rightly refrain. Not because it’s some valuable trade secret that I’m zealously guarding, but because it is not one worth emulating for sure. UPSC was an experiment I did on myself, patiently testing my own strengths and shortcomings, one after the other. I have hardly been in the ‘UPSC Mode’, a dedicated 24 X 7 student, revising and re re  revising. Never giving up life nor its many celebrations, trials and tribulations on the go. Hence, my experiments with myself will hardly be of any help to anyone , rather will mislead and blur you with illusions about what to do/ not to do.

I am one, who dreads an “Instruction Manual” of any kind.

Nevertheless, if one can take away something valuable from it- it is being a Reckless Optimist, a Patient Believer who improved an iota each day and didn’t worry about how much time it took, also most importantly loving the journey with its kachcha and pacca roads alike.

Also, I believe ‘tips’ and ‘strategy’ is not the quintessential element for this exam. On the verge of sounding arrogant, I would confess that I hardly tried to befriend any successful candidate, hardly sought any advice. Thus, I strongly believe, it is ONLY YOUR OWN work and self-motivation that helps you get through. No advice/tips however valuable, can become your guiding lights.

Having said so, I would like to share that I used to browse for pictures and stories of LBSNAA, of hardworking Officers on the field, of what they did after they became what they aspired to be. And that surely made me work a notch harder.

Today, as I wake up in the morning, I look forward to the day- of the opportunities that it holds, of the risks that will come my way, of the people that I will meet, of the problems that I might help solving, of the little change that i shall bring in myself and in my surroundings. And I rejoice with gratitude- for there’s never been a dull day- either there’s storm or there’s sunshine.

So, I believe my journey now, may be of some value to someone looking for a little nudge to work a notch higher than they are. And thus I shall share small chunks of my life now and then, as I metamorphose into a different individual in an entirely different land, far away from my own family & friends, speaking a language that I picked up just as I turn 30 and evolving into a inconspicuous cog in the Public Service machinery.

My blog has been my constant companion in times that were tough and lonely. I believe most of us have a bit of what is called “Athazagoraphobia”, or the fear of being forgotten by the people. Some people aspire to leave behind extraordinary legacies , other ordinary folks simply try fighting their Athazagoraphobia, putting effort to remain relevant in this fast moving world. I am the latter and so I write, to satisfy myself that I am doing my bit for not being forgotten .

Also a very crucial DISCLAIMER. This is no attempt to showcase how ‘ Efficient, Compassionate, Ethical or Upright’ I am. I go by my work, with all my imperfections just like most of you. And this page shall just be a crude consequence of my fingers hitting the keyboard carelessly, mostly at midnight. All thoughts… unabridged and raw from the days that left some mark on me. There shall be no “Precious Takeaways” only plain experience sharing with #nofilters .

Yes-  No Instruction Manual. No Bottom Lines. No Filters.

17 responses to “UnOfficially Her – #nofilters

  1. So well expressed. Might I add, you have been one of my role models when I started my prep 🙂

  2. I got that nudge ma’am , TYVM … I always thought seeing those toppers’ interviews that their is a singular way to Success never let myself get rid of the shackles of that spiral process. I will now do it but my way … Lose or Win , It’ll be mine to take … 🙏

  3. Esperanzaemanates

    Well!!!! Now I can find the reason behind- why the question was left unanswered? To be more particular everyone thinks that there is a way to success and it shud be followed keeping the one who has already reached the goal. But well there are more diversified ways of success as of our diversified thoughts. Thank u for putting up this DIMAAG ki BATTI jalao wala PIECE.

  4. The little nudge that helps me to stay motivated….. #ma’am_you_are_my_inspiration

  5. @Pamela: Luved this write up.The fact that you manage to stay on ground despite your remarkable feats and achievements is something that we all admire. I hope each and every day be a joyous one for you — considering that you have had your shares of ups and downs early in life..its time for you to reap the benefits!

  6. “Having said so, I would like to share that I used to browse for pictures and stories of LBSNAA, of hardworking Officers on the field, of what they did after they became what they aspired to be. And that surely made me work a notch harder.”

    This above line is so true mam even i am doing the same rather than reading any success story .You are right mam it really inspires a lot while looking at those very hardworking officers

  7. Renuka Ramachandran

    Excellent write up that truly depicts your personality Pamela,

  8. Nani I knew you some days before you cracked UPSC, when my bhauja had told me about you who is preparing for UPSC.
    I once had it me that I need to break all barriers and prepare for UPSC.
    The thing is I got scared of not being in job and prepare for it.

    And when bhauja said that you have cracked rank 51, I started following you more and having heard your life story inspired me a lot. I came to know Deepankar bhaina from the foodies group posts or comments. Both of you became my ideal couple after I watched a video of both of your’s interview and you continued to being my idol.

    Honestly that level of dedication for UPSC never came from me while working. I tried few attempts and failed. After that I got an offer to switch within IT and I got stuck in this busy world with more work and in something which is for my bread and butter.
    But, I have some other dream and Nani, you and bhaina will keep inspiring me for same.
    Hope one day I will meet both of you.
    Whatever you write or not but honestly, you are a gem of a human being. 😊

    • Rajdeep I am so touched and humbled by your kind words. Hoping to meet you soon too. Your kind of affection and support keeps me and Deep going . God bless!

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