Tag Archives: deception

I promise not to promise again…


I promise not to promise again.
because promises have thrown me into prisons of pain.
Tears hanging onto my eyelids.
I don’t know
whether to hold on or let them go.

Too many lines strewn across my forehead,
from too many stories you said.
Too many questions remain unanswered.
Too many feelings seek to make their voices heard.

I make a clarion call
and try not answering them all.
Because some answers that I found
have given me wounds so profound.

I can neither scream nor seep into silence.
Acting as if in oblivion,
I pretend to go on.

The sound of the train and drops of rain
weave a melancholy melody.
My heart skips a beat
as I decide to retreat.
A step forward and two behind,
in this tortuous path I try to find.

Tunnel after tunnels pass.
Light after darkness and darkness after light.
But this night inside me,
stays on in my fight.

Raindrops on the glass panes,
empty fields and empty lanes…
Remind me of the kingdom I once ruled.
Until I realised how I was be-fooled.

Beneath the bridges the rivers flow.
Mountains come and valleys go.
As I sit back and ignore
the answers I already know…

How true it is indeed…

Being born blind is easier
than closing your eyes,
Because it is hard to know the truth
and yet live on with lies…

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Just when HE thought LoVe was in the AiR. I said “In LoVe and WaR, all is FaIr”!!


 

wen it started.. :)

Back from office..manoeuvering the laptop bag over my flimsy shoulders…I nearly swooned when I saw him…I didn’t even burden my tiny head to think…how could he be there…The keys were with me…???!!

Well then I switched on the lights and then there was an exchange of acknowledgement..warm or perhaps too hot!!

I didnt ask him how he managed to get in after all the efforts I had piped in…for making my house..MY HOUSE…and not somebody else’s…Just forget it…!! I knew I just couldn’t get away with him…

From the common area to the bedroom I went…putting off the lights…and he came with me…It wasn’t worth refusing…he simply wouldn’t listen …

So I waited…until I could change into my favourite cream skirt and my worn out blue T-shirt….There was no wasting time in such a situation… 🙂

The moon light was streaming on my face and…the faint stars lit the sky….the leaves whispered to each other in the breath-taking breeze….and I knew..we wouldn’t find each other at ease… I wanted to put on the light..so that I could see him clearly…and he certainly resisted..just when the Power went off!!….well I cried  out to him…”Your wish granted Sir!!!…So lets play hide and seek then…”

With all the romance in the air..wafting off to my bedroom…I think..it would be too much if I start describing it… 😛

I knew myself…as to how much I could take in and exactly what could sway me off my feet…that is to precisely say…I knew what my limitations were…and how should I not be carried away..when I see him…But..unfortunately….he simply didn’t want to think we had any limitations as such…Audacious as he has always been… He kept on pushing it and I had to ultimately give in….

With the setting Sun and the rising moon …the feelings in us had taken a very interesting form…indescribable …and unutterable..

I went on to ‘see’ him then…he just kept moving away…and then when he came..I really felt strange…I was smouldered with shyness…the darkness of the night sky could not hide the rosy flames on my cheeks…I was angry….perhaps not on him…on myself..on my inability to resist myself ….

The gusto flushed my cheeks pink and red…you may term that I blushed…and I actually don’t know…how to say that I didn’t either..

Then the seeks became vigorous and there were no hides…but all my seeks were in vain…he knew I was angry with myself and he knew anger made me pell-mell…he had the benefit of his wisdom about me..perhaps he knew me too well…

He constantly came and touched me…with his faint whispers…I didnt want to react…as I was left completely helpless with the darkness …inside and out…

Why am I always this way..when he’s near me??…can’t I be a bit rational and act sane …???..am I not supposed to give the situation the best possible outcome…and do what is expected of me…

Well I had tried my hands at that….51 times in my life perhaps….all these were futile….I wished and wished and wished…

Could my 52nd date be any different???

perhaps Yes….probably nooo..

or May be I don’t know… 🙂

I held my breath for the moment..i knew it would come….and ofcourse it came…

when he stared at me…I had to avert my gaze…I knew that he knew….I had given in..

He whispered again…touched me….and touched my cheek with his lips…perhaps that’s called a Kiss…

So then he had kissed me….and how was I supposed to react??

I didn’t know…as always ….Just that..it was my 52nd date and I should make it different …memorable….

I realised..he had kissed me…I knew..I couldnot defy then..I knew I could not kiss him as well…I knew I had my limitations….

There was a blank in my head as I realised there was no going back…I lifted my head up..the Moon had risen high..playing hide and seek…with the fluffy clouds..purple darkness… milky whiteness….milky whiteness and purple darkness…took their turns…

Hide and seek it was too….

Suddenly there was a sensation in me…an urge..to make my 52nd date embossed in the book of time forever…!

I sprang up…my pace was as quick as I was clumsy…I fumbled in the darkness..as my heart said..it saw him better this way than when in blinding light…Sometimes an intuition and an unwavering will is all you need..

bang …I hit my bed post…Ouch….ouch..ouch….and then a..

SMACK!!

He heaved a sigh on my palms….Even in death he clung to me as in life…

Blood tinted my cheeks and my fingers…

My cheeks ..where He had kissed me a while ago….. a rush of red promptly replaced the blush of pink …as I smiled to myself and thought ..he got what he wanted and I got what I had long waited for…

and even while moving on..he ensured that I slap myself hard to get him out of my life… 😦

He had pushed me too hard and little did he know that…the pain was worth it… 🙂

The moon shone bright and the clouds had melted away..the Hide was finally over and the Seek was  with the moon….the breeze continued…even cooler and sweeter…

I rushed to the washroom…tottering in darkness…A pint of  Dettol on my palms..then a pint of Garnier on my cheeks…and Lo!! I had successfully wiped the evidence of the gruesome event…

So …The marks were gone forever….as was he….

I would certainly miss him..as he was one my all time favourites…my entertainment hero for dragging me to exercise and driving away my  boredom..as I frantically jumped and clapped all through the house…most of the summer evenings ..running after him..

But he had to go…and It had to happen soon…

Now….I do not have to go on narrating..the Classic..”The MOSQUITO and ME”… :)…

Yippeee!!! 🙂 😀 😛 My 52nd Date turned out to be different… in fact the best one ever!!!

After all…. the Romance was only in the air and now its Gone with the Wind!!…

I now chuckle to myself and say…”All is fair in love and war!!! “ .. 😛