Tag Archives: laughter

): हँसी (:


लोग पूछते हैं मुझसे,
“तुम इतना कैसे मुस्कुरा पाती हो ?
तुम झूठी हो जो
खोखली हँसी हमें दिखती हो!”

परवाह मेरी मुहसे भी
ज़्यादा करते हैं!
लोग मेरी हँसी से
काफ़ी डरते हैं !!

परवाह उन्हें ये नहीं,
कि वो खुश क्यों नहीं ।
फ़िक्र बड़ी इस बात की,
कि मैं मायूस क्यों नहीं ?!?

खुश जब मैं काफ़ी होती हूँ ,
उस दोपहर फ़िर काफ़ी रोती हूँ।

नज़र जो लगती है मेरी हँसी को,
ज़माने की ।
क्या करूँ ! मेरी फ़ितरत में नहीं
हँसी छिपाने की ।

हँसती रहूंगी मैं ,
चाहे कितनी भी खोखली क्यों न हो।
दो ऑंसू ही टपक जाएं,
ज़ख्म कितनी भी गहरी क्यों न हो।

रोते हुए जो आई थी,
हँसते चेहरे दिख गए थे।
हँसते हुए जो जाऊँगी,
दुनिया रोती रह जाएगी …

शायद। …. शायद ?

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Laughter lies.


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I laughed and laughed.
Until the laughter echoed,
across the perfumed halls and the sunny windows.

Some were mine.
Some theirs.

Laughter resonated.
Laughter reverberated.
From one after the other,
older and younger.

As if everybody had pledged to be happy!
As if everybody had promised to laugh!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Laughter faded.
Laughter dwindled.
I continued laughing unbridled.

Old and young and children too,
had stopped laughing long.
Oblivious of their gaze,
I laughed on.

Until it wasn’t laughter anymore…

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A little girl came to me, tearing the crowd.
Put her fingers across my lips
and whispered aloud,
“Shhh! Stop laughing!!
What makes you so sad today?”

S-A-D?? But, I am not crying!
No!! There are no tears on my cheeks?
Look little girl! I am laughing!!

“Oh! Please stop!”
and she held my hand in hers…

“My daddy says, when you laugh like this,
When you laugh ‘like happy’..
Despite your tries,
your laughter lies.”

I stopped.
Oh little girl!
Your father has taught you well.
Harrowing humor comes from a hurt heart.

“So why your self, should you betray?
Why be hurt and not say?
Why must you laugh like this?”

O little one!
You are too little to learn!

I laugh.
I lie.
Not because I don’t dare to show.
But because the world doesn’t care to know.

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If Ignorance is Bliss. It has to be This!


In a country like India, a Twenty Point program is a sine qua non for all planning and ‘Pursuit of Happiness’. So when today I suddenly noticed how unhappy I was with my awful awesome Life, it struck me to have my Twenty point program as well.

Being a twenty-nothing myself, I jotted down some of the ‘facts’ I believe to be true.
And I would be utterly obliged if you did too. 😀

Because howsoever it may be a cliche,
I can’t deny that Ignorance is Bliss! 😉
So in search for that peace,
I started off this piece…

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1. I am unemployed By choice and not by compulsion. I am a Software Engineer with hardwired intent to master in Humanities. Hence a Post Graduate in Human Rights Law and a Post graduate in Sociology too. I am just a PhD away from teaching at Oxford 😛
This is frictional unemployment. Even globalization couldn’t  find me a suitable role profile to match my excellently erratic back ground! Shame on it!

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2. I have always worked hard. All that I have achieved is a direct consequence of it. All that I have not- Blame it on my Luck.

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3. I am not a cry baby. Courageous people reflect their true emotions. I am courageous to cry 24×7, without worrying about your tolerance levels.

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4. I am not fat plump. I am healthy. But If you are not convinced, you  should know..My clothes shrunk, I didn’t expand.

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5. If you still think I did! My recent increase in diameter and circumference are directly proportional to my dedication for my Husband. He cannot lose weight, so I am catching up. Indian women are epitomes of sacrifice.

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6.My husband is tall.
I don’t wear heels because they are bad for my back bone aaand I think Elephants are cuter than giraffes.

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7. I can buy clothes, cosmetics, shoes, bags, accessories… and the world. I am Rich.
But I don’t buy them. Not because the “housewife-allowance” is meager to me. But because I hate the culture of consumerism. 😛

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8.I am beautiful. I was born to feature in fairness lotion ads. But Hard work and  the Tropical Sun tanned my modelling prospects 😛

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9. I am a good cook. I like what I cook. And more importantly, I can eat what I cook. My husband eats in his office cafeteria because he is fond of fast-food more than his wife.
Sometimes I accidentally cook well mess up. It’s because while I cook, my MIL (Mother in Law) instructs, My SIL (Sister in law) OVERsees and like you know- too many cooks spoil the broth!

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10. I am not lazy.
But All I make is salad  and oats because- I like to eat healthy, Live longer. Also its the best way to censure unnecessary expenses and growing tumm
ies ( there are 5 of them, including mine)

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11. I am a master of all trades, jack of some more. Singing, writing, painting, gardening, cooking(under improvement),dancing(to my in-laws tunes)… I do it all!!
I am famous for nothing specific though, because I am yet to decide, which art I would like to be famous for.

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12. Especially, I am a prolific poet and a terrific author. But nobody reads my blog (inspite of zealous requests) because- Every successful artist is rejected a trillion times before being inducted into the Hall-of-Fame. I am no exception!

F.A.ME – Forever Away from ME! huh!!

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13. I cross the road with difficulty. But I can ride the scooter, drive the car, manoeuver the MiG and sail the ship.

I have the confidence. But so does my father. He is confident that it would turn out be an expensive affair. ( My last accident cost him Rs 25000— 5000 for an artificial tooth, 20000 for the braces. It was a scooter accident and the scale of damage was limited to one tooth. On a larger scale, with a larger vehicle and all of the 32 teeth… oops! perhaps I would rather agree than pay 32 x 5000 + 25000 !!!) 
Oh my God! I wish I were a dentist. They bite a hell lot of money on your bites! I might try pursuing that someday too 😉

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14. I am not slow- in reading, reacting, reflecting, reaching…
I finish 40 when you flag off 400 because- I am a perfectionist. I believe in quality, not quantity. Mind It!!!

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15. I am usually a silent, tacit person who doesn’t speak unless the need arises. It’s not my fault that the need arises so very often.

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16. I am an amicable soul. People don’t like me? It’s because they are Jealous! Now,who wouldn’t!! 😉 😛

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17. I am a little too angry, impatient, unpredictable and emotionally turbulent sometimes. But don’t you think it can be a Genetic disorder? Now that’s called Manufacturing defect! 😛

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18. Despite this my Parents love me more than Honey, their Pet dog.

(My nick name is Rocky and her’s is Honey. In India, 99/100 people assume, I am the Dog and  she’s the daughter! x-(  )

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19. I am not worried or desperate. This is just a prolooooonged bad phase.
After every dark winter comes a bright summer.
(and I would certainly be alive to witness it without being frozen to death! Hoorray!)
Until then I would wait and meditate.

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20. I am not Greedy. All I want is everything.
God!! Is it too much to ask for?

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Speak Less.Say More!


I had to write this anyway…Because someday soon I had to take an oath not to babble too much. That fortunate/ unfortunate day I think turned up today. No special turning point defined it though.But I had to pledge to stuff my stupid mouth shut. But then having shut my mouth I still need to babble and so I blog.

I suffer from a deadly disease called “Pressure of Speech”. You would notice it soon when having a one on one conversation with me. I speak. Then you speak. Then I speak again and you pause. But when you pause I begin analyzing…..why is she/he not speaking up…is she/he expecting me to speak up? Am I being rude or moody by staying mum….doesn’t it sound strange… this silence…..????!!” And there I go filling in the few seconds gap with my musical melody or honestly put…mentally sickening malady!

The point is I could have dreamt of becoming the President of India had my extremely efficient vocal system got some snag. The tongue toggles too often as it has to make some point at every point, however pointless the point  might be. Things get worse as I am a girl and that explains all.

So without beating around the bush and writing this junk above, all I wanted to say is…….

Rather all I SHOULD just say is , Today I pledged to myself, “SHUT UP PAMELA!!!”

From being an Agony Aunt to a Conscience Constable I would experience as many roles in the 24 hours of a day that even no Bollywood heroine would have played in the entire span of her career.

A friend’s friend’s friend had a break up with her ‘only’ Boyfriend…how could I stop myself from consoling?? Some have their too busy children with even busier grand children and have nothing to look forward to across the day….So shouldn’t I share a little laugh?? She got her first salary…he needs a little advice…She doesn’t know whom to confide in…He doesn’t know whom to say that to……SOOOO what?? THERE’S PAMELA 🙂

Smiling at a sea of faces or sulking at somebody’s sorrow I would be the Epitome of Empathy. Ofcourse I loved being “The Chosen One” …..but later It drove me crazy ….”Why ME??!!”

And of course my Mobile there would make me all the more immobile!!

With almost no time for myself I would crib about all those beautiful things that I could have filled into those 60 seconds of a precious minute, of the 24 long hours of an always short day for me…

But then their goodwill just worked wonders. I would be amazed at what life had to offer. But they would emerge just as the curtains would fall and then eyebrows would  be raised for an eternity.

I would stand ever confused, should I crib or should I celebrate??

Forget It!!

O Dear Lord! Who has time to think when one has no time to talk!

I’m vexed! Why do you need just a paragraph when I can pen down an entire Novel!  Huh….

So the point is being tacit puts you on so many vantage points. I would just pen down some sufficient seven.

1. They would never know how stupid you are. 😛 Just give an esoteric smile and seem saintly overflowing with wisdom. 🙂

2. Conserves Energy. Saves you from weight loss. (I have been unable to add on an extra kilo above 47 ever since my 9th class! ) But then even if you’re planning to shed fat, this still is a dangerous idea. 

3.You never forget what you MUST be saying.

4. People listen to at least some of it when you make some sense. ( I make too much sense and ultimately end up being nonsense!! 😦  )

5. You do not hurt your own ears. (Mine are perpetually damaged without respite)

6.NOTE (If you are a girl) : Even while bitching ….. u can still sound important!! your blah blah can make them go gaga…

7. The Less you Speak, the more you listen and the More you listen, the better speaker you ultimately become!! 😛  ( I guess that’s where all the problem started for me !)

So all  I wanted to Talk about was….. I should not be Talking at all!!!

So Do me a Favour Please!!!

Seal It!  TAPE IT!!

LOCK IT HARD!!

 OR PUNCH IT BAD!!

For God’s Sake!! JUST SEAL MY STUPID MOUTH SHUT! 

PS: It’s not entirely my fault. Heredity plays a major role as well. No offence to the wonderful and equally weird duo who decided to create a masterpiece but ended up doing disaster management. 🙂

Finally shutting up!!