Tag Archives: Life

If Ignorance is Bliss. It has to be This!


In a country like India, a Twenty Point program is a sine qua non for all planning and ‘Pursuit of Happiness’. So when today I suddenly noticed how unhappy I was with my awful awesome Life, it struck me to have my Twenty point program as well.

Being a twenty-nothing myself, I jotted down some of the ‘facts’ I believe to be true.
And I would be utterly obliged if you did too. 😀

Because howsoever it may be a cliche,
I can’t deny that Ignorance is Bliss! 😉
So in search for that peace,
I started off this piece…

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1. I am unemployed By choice and not by compulsion. I am a Software Engineer with hardwired intent to master in Humanities. Hence a Post Graduate in Human Rights Law and a Post graduate in Sociology too. I am just a PhD away from teaching at Oxford 😛
This is frictional unemployment. Even globalization couldn’t  find me a suitable role profile to match my excellently erratic back ground! Shame on it!

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2. I have always worked hard. All that I have achieved is a direct consequence of it. All that I have not- Blame it on my Luck.

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3. I am not a cry baby. Courageous people reflect their true emotions. I am courageous to cry 24×7, without worrying about your tolerance levels.

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4. I am not fat plump. I am healthy. But If you are not convinced, you  should know..My clothes shrunk, I didn’t expand.

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5. If you still think I did! My recent increase in diameter and circumference are directly proportional to my dedication for my Husband. He cannot lose weight, so I am catching up. Indian women are epitomes of sacrifice.

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6.My husband is tall.
I don’t wear heels because they are bad for my back bone aaand I think Elephants are cuter than giraffes.

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7. I can buy clothes, cosmetics, shoes, bags, accessories… and the world. I am Rich.
But I don’t buy them. Not because the “housewife-allowance” is meager to me. But because I hate the culture of consumerism. 😛

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8.I am beautiful. I was born to feature in fairness lotion ads. But Hard work and  the Tropical Sun tanned my modelling prospects 😛

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9. I am a good cook. I like what I cook. And more importantly, I can eat what I cook. My husband eats in his office cafeteria because he is fond of fast-food more than his wife.
Sometimes I accidentally cook well mess up. It’s because while I cook, my MIL (Mother in Law) instructs, My SIL (Sister in law) OVERsees and like you know- too many cooks spoil the broth!

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10. I am not lazy.
But All I make is salad  and oats because- I like to eat healthy, Live longer. Also its the best way to censure unnecessary expenses and growing tumm
ies ( there are 5 of them, including mine)

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11. I am a master of all trades, jack of some more. Singing, writing, painting, gardening, cooking(under improvement),dancing(to my in-laws tunes)… I do it all!!
I am famous for nothing specific though, because I am yet to decide, which art I would like to be famous for.

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12. Especially, I am a prolific poet and a terrific author. But nobody reads my blog (inspite of zealous requests) because- Every successful artist is rejected a trillion times before being inducted into the Hall-of-Fame. I am no exception!

F.A.ME – Forever Away from ME! huh!!

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13. I cross the road with difficulty. But I can ride the scooter, drive the car, manoeuver the MiG and sail the ship.

I have the confidence. But so does my father. He is confident that it would turn out be an expensive affair. ( My last accident cost him Rs 25000— 5000 for an artificial tooth, 20000 for the braces. It was a scooter accident and the scale of damage was limited to one tooth. On a larger scale, with a larger vehicle and all of the 32 teeth… oops! perhaps I would rather agree than pay 32 x 5000 + 25000 !!!) 
Oh my God! I wish I were a dentist. They bite a hell lot of money on your bites! I might try pursuing that someday too 😉

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14. I am not slow- in reading, reacting, reflecting, reaching…
I finish 40 when you flag off 400 because- I am a perfectionist. I believe in quality, not quantity. Mind It!!!

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15. I am usually a silent, tacit person who doesn’t speak unless the need arises. It’s not my fault that the need arises so very often.

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16. I am an amicable soul. People don’t like me? It’s because they are Jealous! Now,who wouldn’t!! 😉 😛

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17. I am a little too angry, impatient, unpredictable and emotionally turbulent sometimes. But don’t you think it can be a Genetic disorder? Now that’s called Manufacturing defect! 😛

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18. Despite this my Parents love me more than Honey, their Pet dog.

(My nick name is Rocky and her’s is Honey. In India, 99/100 people assume, I am the Dog and  she’s the daughter! x-(  )

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19. I am not worried or desperate. This is just a prolooooonged bad phase.
After every dark winter comes a bright summer.
(and I would certainly be alive to witness it without being frozen to death! Hoorray!)
Until then I would wait and meditate.

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20. I am not Greedy. All I want is everything.
God!! Is it too much to ask for?

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I promise not to promise again…


I promise not to promise again.
because promises have thrown me into prisons of pain.
Tears hanging onto my eyelids.
I don’t know
whether to hold on or let them go.

Too many lines strewn across my forehead,
from too many stories you said.
Too many questions remain unanswered.
Too many feelings seek to make their voices heard.

I make a clarion call
and try not answering them all.
Because some answers that I found
have given me wounds so profound.

I can neither scream nor seep into silence.
Acting as if in oblivion,
I pretend to go on.

The sound of the train and drops of rain
weave a melancholy melody.
My heart skips a beat
as I decide to retreat.
A step forward and two behind,
in this tortuous path I try to find.

Tunnel after tunnels pass.
Light after darkness and darkness after light.
But this night inside me,
stays on in my fight.

Raindrops on the glass panes,
empty fields and empty lanes…
Remind me of the kingdom I once ruled.
Until I realised how I was be-fooled.

Beneath the bridges the rivers flow.
Mountains come and valleys go.
As I sit back and ignore
the answers I already know…

How true it is indeed…

Being born blind is easier
than closing your eyes,
Because it is hard to know the truth
and yet live on with lies…

An Ode to a heavenly couple on earth!!


23rd June got to be a big day…because 25 years back in the year 1986  two strikingly different people made a strikingly same move… they strangled  each other with an alarming weapon of biological warfare…!! 😛

But if something great happened out of it…it was MY inception… 😛

The guy was crazy…could have discovered a “Satpathy’s 4th Law”….challenging the 3 that Newton had discovered ages back…!! but with due regards to Newton..he stopped ! Modesty has always been his ingrained virtue… 😛

The gal— nothing less than a pretty damsel,learnt to tackle the threads of his psyche physics and sew it into a romantic chemistry!!…

The bold Lass, learnt to master d ‘Home Science’…took d  bull by the horns…errr :P…and flipped the Head with the Tail (that follows her always)…and now she’s the HOD! (Head of my Daddy) 😛

He would fool her with all the sweet nothings in d world..

.”the Loreal and Lakmé don’t deserve to touch your lovely face my dear….

U are a marvel among God’s masterpieces…and u better not fool around with his design!!…

The gold..the silver and the diamonds appear like trinkets in your sapphire gaze…please don’t embarrass  them with your ruby red face..!!…

The silk, the brocade shy away from the sheen of your golden skin…why force them on dear??!!”  🙂  😀

And Lo!

She would gently abide..pretending to have believed every bit, making peace with the fact that she loved being fooled!!…and what a fool he was to have thought that God created Beauty…and beauty alone.. with no brains….!!

She would toss her part too…

She would know he forgets everything..

the taste…the smell…the day..the night…

But Nope! he would never ever have her out of sight…

Now it was her turn to fool him with all her might!! 😛

Some grass she would cook…

and give one damn enticing look…!! 😛

he would then relish it like the ambrosia from heaven…

reveling in her gaze from 7 till 7… 🙂 😛

Fooling each other and being delighted fools…

They would formulate their own LoVe RuLeS !!…

Yeah,,If Ignorance is bliss …

then it has to be THIS!!

hmmmm..a nice long song….:P 😛

and interestingly enough apart from sharing their lives..their souls…their breath with each other..they would also share the same Bday cake…!!

The whacky guy born on 26th of Jan and his ‘jaan’ on the 27th..they would merrily munch the same cake on the midnight of 26th…when the world slumped in slumber…and the 26th stealthily transformed into a 27th..as HE transformed into a SHE and a she into THEY…..:)

…..And Then someday… the guy and d gal got to have to have 2 kids…The kids were great…atleast not as crazy as them! 😛

But that would not suffice…They had a hobby of borrowing kids..be it the neighbour’s or the family’s…and just any size would do!!…

(NOTE: All characters in the pic below are real and true to the best of my knowledge..but the turnkey is… each one is borrowed and none is the biological offspring of the two !! :P)

….well then 25 silver years passed by…the fights would melt into laughter…the tears would transform into long serene beaches of tacit understandings…the sweat they put into the relation would sublime into estates of eternal bliss…..

and the story would go on….

their would be no ‘your family’..’my family’…

there would be no ‘you better understand that’…..

but there would be only ‘us’…’ours’ and ….

“we can brave all storms together… no matter what..”…

and the story would go on… and on..

the  sonnet would be unsung…

but they will never forget the tune….

Februaries will come and go….

but they would always celebrate the June…

This June, the Big day came and silently went by…There were no celebrations, no gifts , no parties…there were no kids..neither their own ..nor d borrowed ones…. 😛

Just that worrying about all the things in and around them ..they had no time to worry about something about them…

But they knew …very well knew..that love does not need any reason to celebrate…love does not need a date to glorify its existence…love does not need any pompous poem to weave a ballad…..

Love just knows… that it grows…and that it goes on…

” life is a celebration of togetherness…”

He knows that she knows…

and she knows that..even if she doesn’t know…she still knows…

….because he believes that she knows…..

…that there would come many such 25 years of togetherness…no greed of gold…no quest for platinum…nor appetite for any diamond…

JUST this silver….humble..modest and sublime….

Just this silver…humming the love ‘ lovely story’…of an ordinary two…

…….I remember…I and my sister, asking Mom..“.whom do you love most…? Dad or ME?…”  she would gently chuckle and say..” YOUR Dad”…because he gave me you,…. 🙂

….their  sonnet would be unsung…

but they will never forget the tune….

the Februaries will come and go….

but they would always celebrate the June… 🙂

 

 

No dream too distant…


Almost half a year gone by…when I had to relinquish all that i was passionate about in this world…except ‘that one dream’ which dragged me along this way…

The Day of Deliverance came and went …but the question mark remained as glaring as it ever could be… 😦

In the heat of the June Sun…squatting on one of the million  footpaths of Delhi…for not less than three hours that sunday…I was trying to figure out…”whether time changed me or I could change the time?”…

just 2 years back I could never imagine myself here…never crossing a street alone without panicking, never travelling places without biting off my nails…never fending for myself without grumbling about life….

But LO!

things change…and change they do…pretty fast!!!

Nibbling on the dry cake slices…trying to quell my rumbling stomach…I was nervous trying not to get nervous…

As I frantically turned the pages of my book…I was reminded of those days when daddy would stuff the pulaw into my mouth…rattling on formulas…

These breaks between 2 seatings of an exam would drive me nuts…all the more with tons of people around… pampering me with all their attention… 🙂

Now, there was no time to act jittery…no time to indulge in nervousness…

I was supposed to be a big girl and act like one as well… :P:(

I  couldn’t afford to cry…I couldn’t afford being a delicate darling…

I had to put up a brave face, manage a plastic smile….and epitomize nerves of iron …while the life changing moment awaited me…

There were some pretty sophisticated girls in there too…munching on sandwiches…enjoying the ac of their SUV…as I shook of the ants that fell upon me from the tree above…while I clung to the Footpath on the dirty newspaper…looking like one on a Hunger strike… 😛

But somehow it did not invoke even a tinge of sadness in me…I smiled at myself!

The day that I wished to live…would be the day… when I would pull down the window glass of my car to take a look at the country crowd…while they would consider me the raison’ d etre of their happiness and welfare….

and the day that is to get me this day, is the day I’m squatting on the footpath staring into this SUV…trying hard to see through the dark glass…thinking…”will that girl in there be able to make it to glory….will she see be able to see the burning problems of the people…never having tanned herself in the sun…”

Such a peculiar dream it was…it would lead me to a Crystal Palace ….but the pavement is full of shards of glass… and there’s only this one way…I’m not allowed any slippers ..nor do I have any iron feet…the only thing I can ask for and would be granted is an Iron will….

Now its time for me to choose…

But I want to go in…go in there desperately…coz if I dont..this dream would always remain a dream so distant, as painful when wide awake …as blissful when in slumber…. 😦

I will have to go…the Crystal Palace is calling me…

But so tough it is…they ask me “shed thy blood but never thy tear…”

And so I tread on…on shards of glass tearing my feet apart…but there’s immense pleasure…astounding bliss with each bleeding drop…and So I would never stop until I claim  that crystal throne in that crystal palace …”

…..The bell rung…time flew by…the bell rung again…

and I started walking…for one of the few times, knowing exactly where to go…fearlessly crossed d road…bargained with the auto-walla bhaiya..for every single penny…(earning and not earning had taught me the difference well !! 😛 )

Reached home…

Didn’t know how I had fared…and didn’t want to know either…

With every single moment…the anxiousness driving me crazy…i just wanted to survive with the hope I had borrowed from God..

It could be so..that I would be led to my Crystal Palace…It could be what I had long desired, It could be what I had long deserved….or it could simply be His grace…a miracle…

The rules are fair…but they are fairly tough as well…

It could be so..that they shoo me away rite at their doorstep….I might  have had trodden the tortuous path…I might have had shed my blood…

But they might say…I didn’t follow their rule…I shed my blood…but I might have shed my tear as well…

hmmmmm….a deep sigh was all I could afford to have….soaked in sweat, drenched with doubts…

But somewhere my heart said…”while worrying about the Life full of exams…I had somehow miraculously passed in the exam of life”… 🙂

I had learnt to be on my own…I had learnt to bear a frozen heart when things turned out exactly the opposite of what I wished for….I had learnt to burn in nervousness while braving the sweetest smile ever… 🙂

…I could see the crystal doors now…opening and closing at their fancy…

I could not see myself in there…But atleast I could see those doors..

I knew I wasn’t there yet…but I knew…it wasn’t far off either…and one of these days I was going to make it through that Crystal door….and claim that Crystal palace forever… 🙂 🙂

My dream may be distant…

but I am equally adamant… 😀

i have nurtured within me the patience to wait…

And i know …my Iron Will will change my fate…

Yeah!!

No dream is too distant to achieve …

Only if you believe!!

The Moon wasn’t Pretty anymore…


I gaped and gaped at you all night…

Until my stomach squeaked in delight…

That you must have noticed me ogling at you…
Perhaps..It was something that you already knew!!

I needed you then like never before…
You…just you…and nothing more…

I had admired you long enough…long enough from my balcony…
Now I want to feel you in my arms…and make you my destiny…

You were there..as always..

surrounded by billions…basking in their gaze…

While they prayed to make you theirs relentlessly….
I prayed to be yours desperately…

Ooo!! Outrightly visible then I was…
An ordinary speck in an extraordinary mass…

You moved me to pour out my heart’s anguish..
Only then could I utter my long cherished wish…

True.. . that  I loved you …
But they loved you too just the same…
…my love is purer than the purest and rarer than the rarest..”
I failed to claim…

With eyes twinkling in tears,
I mumbled…“U can’t be mine…But can I be yours…??”

As your mystic smile surfaced…
I whispered on with utter haste…

“I need you much more than you will ever need me…
Because I need to be needed by you…
Believe me..”

“I can’t even say we are made for each other…
You may be made for Me…
But I am mad for you…”

A quick chuckle and …You jumped into my arms…
For the very first time I could feel all your charms..
All this while I had admired The Moon from my balcony…
And now kissing its forehead  seemed inexplicably uncanny…!!

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Never had thought that I could surpass the stars and clench The Moon..
Never had faith that prayers are answered this soon…

Euphoria struck me hard with all its might….
I never had known that even success can be a plight!!

As the night faded away…
And the yesterday transformed into Today….

Perceptions of the Past suddenly dawned on me…
What I had thought to be cool..seemed cold indeed …

I had long longed to be bedazzled by your light…
But then I don’t know why you could blind my sight…

With you in my arms, my heart fathomed your enigma…
Too many questions now shrouded your panorama…

I had sensed it be ethereal… I had sensed it to be eternal…
But now how and why…it seemed all too banal….

As I glanced at the Moonless sky for a while…
The dream that I had realized seemed all too futile…

You had left behind your world just for me
But I had waived it off in a selfish spree….

I now longed to be warm and I longed to let you go….
You could sense my uneasiness…and let it be soo..

Huh!!….What a great irony…
Now when I can feel you in my arms…

I want to just see you from my balcony…

Ooo Dear! I lament all my lies…
And I know No Sorry would ever suffice…

I know I have hurt you …
And That’s something even I despise…

I let you go…
I set you free…
I grant you your wish
to always hate me….

As you go from my balcony into the splendid sky…
I can only feel sorry and bid you good bye….

I couldn’t comprehend…How could I not know??
I couldn’t figure out… how could I do so…

How could I ever ignore…
Something that I loved so much before??

How could I ever Say….
“The Moon wasn’t pretty any more?”