Tag Archives: love

LOVE. Lost and found.


A Hindu married a Muslim,
And two sisters grew in the womb,
Little then did they know,
They will build each others tomb…

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Borders are like birds,
They will fly wherever they want to.
Nations are like clouds,
They will drift wherever they like to.

But people are the skies,
They will have to stay back,
To witness all birds and clouds,
Good-bad, light and dark.

Soldiers, wars, battles, gun fights,
Matters trivial, wrongs and rights…
One after the other, shot after shot,
The opportunity for love- lost.
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Mountains, rivers, valleys and snow.
What do we fight for,
Do we really know?

We are warring over the Indus,
So much blood, so much loss!
Diplomacy determined, treaty after treaty.
But let’s sign just one for, only water and humanity

Long back the two sisters separated,
From a womb- beaten, exasperated.
The blood evaporated,
In the two lands devastated.
But their love reverberated.
Somehow it was fated…

Across fences, across borders,
Across politics and Army’s orders.
Across Namaste and Namaaz.
Singing stories of sisterhood,
That once was…

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Nations emerged, religions evolved,
The hatred remained, but the love too revolved.

Across Diwali,Holi or Eid,
Connections emerged from deep beneath.
Untying knots, tied by cynics,
Uniting hearts, broken by fanatics.

Why haven’t we learnt anything from,
Your Ammi and my Mummy,
Who were Mothers with a big heart?
Why do we build  such Narrow Nations,
Where love breathes its last?

Why can’t we prize peace,
Over guns and grenades?
Why can’t we silently separate,
But yet not part ways?

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Long ago, A Muslim married a Hindu,
And two sisters were born,
To tell the world a story,
With so much to learn.

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PS:  I grew up learning that nations could be friends or enemies too. And that nations could love and hate, just like you. And this brought along the story that  history had to tell and with it so many notions of good, bad, ugly…hostile or friendly.
But who were the nations? Were they not the people who lived in them?
And how can nations hate, when their people loved each other?

I never could understand the “facts” that history presented.
I never could understand the “acts” that present demanded,
but yet had to be drawn from history.
Couldn’t we just start fresh- reset, rewind, unlock and clear our mind?
Shed the burden of the past?

And then one day, I was fortunate to meet the people, whose nation I had so long known. It struck me then that, had I known that there could exist a love unknown? I met Maria Imran here. We instantly fell in love with each others thoughts, and perhaps with each other too.
Two people-from two religions, from two nations, from two lands, across one border, from one womb of time.
Both were devout patriots, both religious. And perhaps that united us more than it could have divided. Gradually the bonds grew stronger, until I had fallen in love with this tiny part of Pakistan, yes in  Maria Imran.
She had written a piece about me and I had been overjoyed, overwhelmed with tears. I had wanted to dedicate something to her, but never found my words worthy of her. Yet, today on Eid, I thought of gifting her this, my love.
To,
Meri Pyaari Maria.
Hope you like my Eid gift.
The stories that we knew, weren’t that true.
But we have begun new stories now…and hope these would turn true.
The rest of our story waits to be written with time.
Until then , I Believe,love is lost.And found.

With love,
From across the border.
Pamela

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Quote

I take my bye along.


I never could ask
I never could get.
What I couldn’t get,
I could never forget.

You were right,
Always right,
I accept, I lacked insight.

We were windows to each other,
Space suffocated us before.
Today I am an intruder,
At your life’s door.

memory

Tried reminding you,
Of the bygone sweet time.
But the gone was gone,
Long erased from your mind.

I was the first,
To love. To admit. To show.
I will be the first today,
To accept the truth and go.

There was dignity,
There was love.
Since love is gone,
Dignity I cannot shove.

I know you want to breathe,
To go away with grace,
But you cannot say good bye,
You donot have the face.

bye

I knew you then,
I think, I know you still,
What you desire, but can’t,
Today I will.

There were questions, you had asked me,
On some of my life’s turns.
But for the sake of our love,
Those questions I wouldn’t return.

I will let them stay with me,
for answers you cannot give.
I donot need them perhaps,
with questions I can live.

I take the blame for,
departing without a word.
I pretend, you said you love me
and I haven’t perhaps heard.

I will leave and let you live.
I wouldn’t be the reason,
you will ever need to grieve.

I will walk out before you know,
Without a good bye, I shall go.

I go.bye

Hate?


Oh! Prisoner of Pain!
Before you go insane!
HATE!

Let that hatred come out,
Do not struggle to endure,
just shout.

HATE-
chaste, unadulterated,
inevitable, unbridled!
Just HATE!

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You think about your hatred,
to avenge, to torment,
to pay back pain
with pain.

You think about the anguish,
seething hatred in your heart,
day in- day out,
each moment without doubt.

So much so that,
you have never thought that much,
about your Love.

Love, your Love!
You remember it sometimes,
some whiles in a day.

But Hate, your hate-
you cannot just remember it.
It doesn’t leave your thoughts for an iota of time,
to return in remembrance at random whiles.

You do not stalk your Love.
You know it loves you,
as much as you do.

You stalk your Hate,
to assure yourself-
You hate it,
more than it could ever hate you.

Your Hate.
If he smiles a happy curve,
you put the world within you in cursing flames.
If he mourns a sad cry,
You put the skies into stars of celebration.

Ahh! Such magnanimity!
that you can even gift him yourself,
for he has made you happy by his defeat, his pain.
He has tasted today those pangs of pain,
that he once gifted you.

Oh Prisoner of Pain!
You have filled your heart,
with so much of hate,
that there’s no more space for it,
in your ‘Hate-chambers’

You wake up one day,
hating your hatred more-
only to see that hate has spilled into
your ‘Love-chambers’ few.

Hate, that hate,
was to banish love out of you.
But Love, your love.
Has let hate flourish too…

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Love?
Hate?
Love your Hatred?
Or curse your fate?

Oh Prisoner of Pain!
You have gone insane!

Look!Your Hate!
Hate resides in love.
Hate imitates love.
Hate intimidates love.
Hate surrenders to love.

Hate becomes Love-
The highest form of love.
Chaste. Unadulterated. Inevitable. Unbridled.

hate-you

My Inexpensive Love.


“What is the worth of your salary,
Its not money but misery!

You never take me shopping,
You never buy me things.
You never pamper me,
never with diamond rings”

Well I always want to buy the world,
For this girl I love.
But when she looks at the price tag,
She is a complacent dove.

The greed is vanquished,
while she shortens her wishlist.

And pulls me away from those pretty shoes,
So that she could come home and merrily abuse!
“Ooo you didnt buy me anything again!
You take me shopping, always in vain!”

Today I shall take you to the market,
all wishes I would grant.
I wouldn’t glance at your wishlist,
wouldn’t listen to your rant.

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We’ll go to Lajpat Nagar
and roam all day long.
We’ll drink coffee from the same mug
and I’ll hum your favourite song.

Oh really!When did you become like this?
This side of you, I did miss!

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Hey listen!
How do I look in this Patiala?
and did you notice the kajal I wore?
See my shoes are torn now.
And I don’t like this wallet anymore.

If I don’t cross the road carefully,
Please don’t scold me like before,
Nothing in this world can hit me,
If you hold my hand & shove me ashore.

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Hey look! There sits a mehendi wallah,
lone, dejected and very sad.
Nobody has time for cheap mehendi
Gucci and Guess make girls glad!

Lets make him happy,
Lets be happy too.
Lets get a mehendi,
on My palms- only for You!

Behind the veil of distress
shines a smile on his wrinkled face,
The mehendi wallah with a twinkle in his eyes,
Asks this girl for the affordable price,
“50 or 100 or 250 Madam?”

“What’s the price of beauty?”, she says.
With your happiness,
I grant my million wishes.

Together they chatter,
As she chuckles and chokes.
Laughter radiates,
and draws all other folks.

People queue up to put a mehendi too.
I am proud that she’s my girl,
NONE can have her- not even few.

A moment later the beauty is revealed.
the wounds of anguish as well healed.

The beauty, beyond words.
In her hands,
in his eyes,
in my heart,
in the God,
who gave me a gift so nice.

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Returning home as the dusk fell,
and the colours rose.
on her palms,
and her cheek’s glows.

My pocket unspent and heavy,
my heart spent and dizzy.
With Thankfulness to that Lord.
For this Girl, who showed me God.

Seen the price tag,
Known the price.
Never knew The value,
of life’s little surprise.

My inexpensive Love,
That was little of Price,but Priceless.
My inexpensive Love,
That bought me, all the world’s Happiness.

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I would have gone away,
knowing the price and not the value.
If I hadn’t been lucky,
to know YOU, to Love YOU.

To The God Anonymous


There are millions of moments in  life when you are forced to look back, instead of looking forward with a vision. And those are the times when you are made to look beyond — beyond yourself, beyond how the world sees you, beyond success, beyond failures.
Those are the times when your faith is put to test.

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It is the test of your God and not your own.

In your heart beats you are very much aware that you have asked for the comfort of palaces to a God who chose vanavaasa himself, lost kingdoms, lost his wife, sacrificed his children, wealth and well-being.
You pray for the fragrance of the roses to a Lord who was made to die on a bed of thorns by the very people whom He loved.
You ask for victory,ecstasy, and gifts to a Lord, who chose for himself thorns,sorrows and grief.

Yet you pray. Yet you put your God to test- time and again.

Being God, he has the liberty to act being deaf, the power to deny. But he doesn’t. He complies.

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Having lost the most precious dream I ever dreamt, no doubt I am notably shaken, but not beyond repair though.

Today, I am asked for something which I donot possess myself.
I am begged for something which I am robbed of right now.
I am forced to lend something which I have borrowed from the world myself- Courage, Hope, Smile.

But Just like the Lord I pray- I shall comply.

I am happy that years of prayers have taught me- “Wealth and Well-being are ephemeral.Wisdom is eternal.”
In the quest for wisdom you would be forced to part ways with wealth and well-being, with excruciating pain.
And ironically when you need them no more, when you have mastered the art of living with wisdom and wisdom alone, when you have excelled the trick of sleeping on a bed of thorns…you would be offered with infinite wealth, infinite well-being.

But this wisdom eludes me more often that not. I am sad to choose between the three. I am tempted to have them all

I have failed miserably today, not because I have failed. But because, I have failed to stand up again and try.

I have heard people say, ” A real winner is one who is moved by victory with humility but unmoved by downfall in striking back again.

It would be a crime to deny that I was unmoved by a hopeful triumph then and this dreadful defeat now.
I am moved- to question my prayers, to bully my faith.

I ask my God. I ask myself. “why do I pray?”
The God doesn’t answer my question. Prayers do.

You pray not because you need something from the Almighty. And you turn your back not because you were made to return empty-handed.
You pray because, You want to pray.
That is the only choice you ever have.

If not, then it is like complimenting somebody for their good looks just because you want them to say, you look amazing too.

So You Pray because you want to heal yourself.

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Even when heaven falls apart some truths hold to be true.
Your parents can sacrifice anything for you.
Your grandparents would never say, but your sorrow shatters them more than it shatters you.
Your Teacher will consider himself victorious, if you outrun him in the race of life.
And you will be your worst enemy and your best friend for all life through.

But each one of them, you fully acknowledge, with all their strengths and shortcomings.

If I am hungry for a hug, I shall go to Mummy.
If I donot recall a physics formula, I will run to Daddy.
If I am in dire need of a piece of hope, I will ransack my own brave heart.

But then there are so many things in life which I need and nobody else I know in this world can give me…
And funnily enough there are so many moments in life, when I don’t know what I actually need.

In the quagmire of what I need?whom to ask for?where to look for?… I think of Him.
The one person who doesnot have a face; who doesnot have a resume of role-profiles, capabilities and shortcomings; who doesn’t have an address where I can appeal.

And so it is the easiest to assume– He is in every face. He is capable of doing everything. He exists everywhere.

I cannot afford to be hopeless today. I cannot afford to be a cynic tomorrow.
There is always a specific somebody for every specific desire. All I need to do is seek. Find.
And there are so many wishes, wills and whims in my heart today, that need to be fulfilled. People suffice for most, He for the rest.

Can I ever be an atheist then?
The Love for myself makes me believe in Loving Him.
And I pray.

ANGEL

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You are scared- of Darkness and of Light.
You are scared of the Darkness because you do not know what it holds.
You are scared of the Light too. Because you know, it doesn’t hold what you need.

In the dark whether you open or close your eyes- it hardly matters. It is Dark. You are blind.
But you want to open your eyes anyhow, step out of the Dark, and turn on the lights.
But the brilliance of the rays splinter and hurt your sight. And you close your eyes again…

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So did you wish to open or close your eyes?
In life, it hardly matters what you wished.

It is then that you realize,how darkness can brighten into light and Light blind you into darkness…
How it actually doesn’t matter whether you open or close your eyes- because you always see what you want to see. And you can always see what you want to see.

You can see Faith. You can see Hope. You can see your prayers reaching Him.

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TO THE GOD ANONYMOUS!

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I would like to convey a few things.

You have returned me empty handed. But you returned me with a filled heart.
You have shown me how my hands would be filled with your gifts someday, but my heart would never be. Silly thing! It always longs for more.
But then I like it to be that way! I shall compensate my greed with my faith on you.

And yes! Is there such a dear victory that cannot move a man in delight and is there such a disastrous defeat which cannot move a man in plight?
Is there any such thing as ‘unmoved‘ at all?
And is there anyone other than you who remains unmoved?? Despite a million prayers. Despite a trillion tears.

I guess not.

I cannot promise to remain unmoved ever.
You move me with ecstasy with the magics you show.
You move me with pain with the tricks you play.
I am very much moved by you.

And I guess it is better not trying to swap roles with you.
You play God and I shall play myself.

Sometimes I feel pity on you. How more often, you are scoffed at than being thanked!
But It was you who chose to play God and not me.

Please do not forget– You may love to sleep on the thorns, but I prefer the roses.

Thank you God- for all that you have given.
But of course you would never be forgiven for what you haven’t given.

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