Tag Archives: moments

Under the Umbrella…


Just another day it was…certain things had decided to fall into place and certain things decided to make me fall…a certain some decided to give me  a tough fight…and a certain some gave me their indifference…

The rain menace had broken out in Delhi…and it had made me feel its soggy presence…with all the muddy thoughts and murky moments breaking into my never easy mind… wet emotions hanging onto my eyelids…all too heavy to stay and all to shy to dribble down…

I had firmed up my dream and had prepared myself to live it…believe it…

Alas!Bright beginnings also leave behind grim goodbyes… 😦

But then i feel…

…Good byes are not forever… & Good byes are not the end… They simply mean… I will miss you… Until we meet again… 🙂

So I shook off the droplets and prepared myself to say good bye.. 🙂

She came home from office and she called me up to drop in  a Hello…I decided I would cook for her…Ya Paneer Do pyaaza would be great… It had been quite a while that we had shared a meal together..certain things had taken their toll on us…a lot of cob webs had grown in…making us see each other….but then somehow be far apart…

We might have forgotten to share a hearty laugh…but we never forgot to share the moments that made our hearts moan… And may be that was something which kept us together… always running parallel to each other like railway tracks… 😀

With a last sprinkle of Kasoori Methi..the aroma of the paneer wafted straight into my hungry stomach..as I hadn’t eaten the entire day… She came home and we carried the kadhais and saucepans into her flat…

Then there was no holding back…we both munched on greedily…I felt happy that she liked my stuff…She always does that…and it’s people like her who make me feel like the Chef of Le’ Meridien! 😛

All the possible things under the sun were discussed..perhaps all the possible things under the moon…or the sky or the clouds..ooorrrr Whatever!!..

But it still wasn’t the end…

We always have taken a so called small stroll after every supper….so why not today??…

It was raining… she wanted to get wet…and me too…

As we set out splishing splashing in the apartment compound…the drizzle began to splish-splash a bit harder too….

Just a glance at each other..and we knew an Umbrella walk would be the best walk ever!!..

She had two umbrellas…we got them..and set out undeterred by the rain….

As the rain poured on..the conversation poured in tooo… 10/10/’10...was her birthday…and we set out chalking up plans that required all God’s mercy to materialize…. But sometimes its just so revelling to put up picture-perfect promises…cook up castles in air…even when you know..you ought to be kidding yourselves to make that true… 😛

But sometimes just being promised of peace and hope ushers in sooo much solace…that even fulfilled promises find hard to… 🙂

And all I knew was that..she knew...

Then there were lights beneath the Peepal tree, casting bizarre shadows on the wet concrete tiles…the smell of rain-& mud- & night… and of course a Nokia with a 3.2 Mega pixel camera….. What on earth could stop girls from launching a full fledged photo shoot!!! 😛

We took pictures of each other….less being captured in the cell and more of it into our hearts….

We had had our shares of ups and downs…but may be thats what gave us the eyes to see through each other..when I was down with darkness all around …I knew I could look up to her and when I would bask in the glory of my accomplished dream…I would know…deep down somewhere she would be happy for me…

A few determined drops had trickled down our sleeves…fighting their way through the Umbrellas…my feet were puffy and cold….but I didn’t feel wet…

Rather the drizzle had a soothing effect on me…As if it had cleansed me…from the fears that i had clung on to…washed me off from the notions that had been docked in my heart for an year now…. 😀

Freed from the drosses of my mind I felt united with myself… I had got back my kindergarten days when I had soo little of conceptions and none of the misconceptions… those days when I would soil my white sport shoes jumping into rain filled rivulets running along the road….making yucky faces at the earthworms…..Coming home and promptly lying to Mommy about how there was no space on the road to walk without being wet!! 😛

I let go of myself in the rain…

We repeated those never attempted promises that we had been prattling since September 2009…. Ya we would definitely go the Doll Museum..she had promised to take me there… and then there was a new Amusement park In Gurgaon…I would certainly take her there….

Jut having said so… felt indescribably great….we had lost sense of time….

At 10:00 we put an end to our Umbrella walk…

I left her at her place in the first floor…Good byes were a bit easy now….

I entered the elevator….pressed the 5 button and hummed a few lines from my perpetually poetic heart…. 😛

Let the drops cleanse my heart today.                                                   Let me rinse my soul.                                                                                     Let me pick fragments today.                                                                   Tomorrow let it take me whole.

OMG!! that was great!!…but then I was no Shakespeare ???!! ….Sooooo I shook off the couplet and yelled at the top of my lungs!!!

UNDER THE PINK UMBRELLA….                                                                 GO ROLLY AND PAMELAAA…!!! 😛

UNDER THE PINK UMBRELLA….OOO llllaa laaa!
THERE THEY GO ROLLY & PAMELLLLLLLLAAAAAAAA!!!

lllllaaaa laaaa laaaaaa !!!!! 😛


Will Somebody give me a Good Morning!!


Opening my eyes with the rising sun, vision searching for the Ganeshji poster on the wall…I pray to God to give me a Good Day…a 24 hours that are fresh and new.… specifically  a Good Morning…because a Good Morning heralds a good day…

A couple of ‘good mornings’ go over the phone….the numbers just rise and fall like a sine wave…But I just don’t want those words on the line…those voices over the Nokia 3600 I own …remind me ceaselessly “ You are precisely 36 hrs away from a place called home…”

The rest of the things fall in place mechanically until 8:45 am…as if I have been programmed and hard wired to do so…  I get into the bus stuffing my ears with the ear phones…and hush the voices inside me to a deafening silence….it’s unsafe having a wagging tongue these days…specially for me, I being a person who suffers from an ailment called Pressure of Speech 😛 !!

Perfectly posing a plastic curve on my chapped lips…and faking a twinkle in my eyes, confident that my glasses would keep the dark circles from the spotlight…  I try hard not to hear anything other than the music on my iPod … and neither the voices outside nor the voice within….both being equally disturbing for me….The lump in the throat keeps growing as I hear but cease to listen…and as I cease to listen, I cease to open my mouth….

Passing by trees, buildings, stray dogs, millions of vehicles, trillions of people doing zillions of stuff…something I struggle to pass by is Myself…

Then comes that India Gate…I’m not going to tell you why…but yes I don’t want to go around it twice a day….

With all those…and much more…the Head Quarters gate comes pretty soon….ready to gulp me down for the day…A nervous attempt at crossing the road turns successful… as I flounder my way to those Great Glass doors….

These days they hit my nose badly… every day these days… I push my glasses over my nose and wish myself a Good Morning….

I don’t know what his name was…I don’t know where & why he had to leave….I don’t know since when I had acquired such a liking for him….and I don’t know why I miss him too…

All I know is…he will never know …because nobody knows him, nobody would tell him and he would never read this…

O No! You don’t need to span your imaginations wild….He was just a person…a person who took care that those great Glass doors didn’t hit my nose….

I sometimes wondered…how could someone look so warm and hearty in the worn out uniform of a security guard…

I dedicate a whole 10 mins to my mirror, struggling to disentangle my curly hair…and all I have is a mess rather than grace, warmth or that hearty look…!!!?? Utterly Unfair!!

A booming Good morning would warm my ears…and that lump in the throat would instantly melt away with a …”Good Morning Bhaiya….Kaise hain aap?”…Instant exchange of innocent grins…a peek or two at the missing lunch packets and for sure the following frowns at our fast fading flesh…would all go by in just 30 seconds…

30 seconds…a good enough time for replacing that plastic smile by a silly grin…for clearing the lump in the throat and making way for my verbose version again….

Hmmm…The Great Glass doors would then be flung wide open and I would enter regally without hitting my nose on it….carrying that grin with me…. along with that Good morning….

Over the day…the number of questions we were put through by him, were directly proportional to the in and outs we made…they would usually range somewhere between “Khaana khaya ya nahi???….” at the lunch break…to “Kahaan jaa rahe ho itni dhoop mein….??” And then a “ Byeeeee Bhaiya” at the end of the day…

That was all….

We came to know one day…he was about to leave…the contract with office had concluded…It’s hard to say that I felt even a tinge of sadness…just that I and my friend thought we would gift bhaiya with something…he was one of those few people who would give a smile without the thought of having something in return….he would be happy if we did so ….

But we never knew why Lajpat Nagar seemed miles away…and his last day in office had already passed long back….silent and unnoticed…

It’s been months now… and there’s this new person at the Glass doors…He’s just perfect in every way a Security Guard could be….he has a good discretion of Designations and Seniority, gives the grandest of the salutes to the most senior of the bosses…the only thing is he knows it too much and he uses his discretion….

You can’t spot a crease or curve on his pompous uniform…but neither can you spot a curve on his face…

Millions of people walk in and out of our lives…touching our lives in million little ways…but while we go on….those little things seem too miniscule to be worth noticing…. Sometimes those million people go away… never even knowing they were something to us…and never even letting us know we were something to them….

And we go on…just the same filling our lives with all those things that are “worth noticing, worth considering, worth rejoicing”…But with all the delight we have for having those…why do the voids still gape??….the voids for those million little things…those trivial things…never worth noticing before…..

God!! You are too good at Mathematics!! How can you really work out so many permutation combinations that each entity in this world is so inimitable…so irreplaceable… that they can create a void in our perfectly filled lives…as they walk out…??!!….I’m baffled….

It’s so unfair that we can always look back…but can never go back…..

And today..just like every other day of my life…..I look back…being unable to go back and claim all those significant things worth noticing….worth bringing back to fill in the voids…

You have gone …and here…I don’t carry the Good Morning with me any more…I guess you always declared that for me… I took it from you prima facie and kept it within throughout the day…you gave me a Good Morning…and I made it a good day….

Today I have to find something good about the morning…before considering it so…I don’t know why…but I can’t declare it for myself… and I do find myself longing for that declaration…

Today as I walk on…rubbing my nose on the stairs to the 1st floor….I think I remember you….No I actually miss you…and I miss those Good Mornings…

I wish I could have them back….

Will Somebody give me a Good Morning??!!!