Tag Archives: relationship

Quote

I take my bye along.


I never could ask
I never could get.
What I couldn’t get,
I could never forget.

You were right,
Always right,
I accept, I lacked insight.

We were windows to each other,
Space suffocated us before.
Today I am an intruder,
At your life’s door.

memory

Tried reminding you,
Of the bygone sweet time.
But the gone was gone,
Long erased from your mind.

I was the first,
To love. To admit. To show.
I will be the first today,
To accept the truth and go.

There was dignity,
There was love.
Since love is gone,
Dignity I cannot shove.

I know you want to breathe,
To go away with grace,
But you cannot say good bye,
You donot have the face.

bye

I knew you then,
I think, I know you still,
What you desire, but can’t,
Today I will.

There were questions, you had asked me,
On some of my life’s turns.
But for the sake of our love,
Those questions I wouldn’t return.

I will let them stay with me,
for answers you cannot give.
I donot need them perhaps,
with questions I can live.

I take the blame for,
departing without a word.
I pretend, you said you love me
and I haven’t perhaps heard.

I will leave and let you live.
I wouldn’t be the reason,
you will ever need to grieve.

I will walk out before you know,
Without a good bye, I shall go.

I go.bye

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If somehow it could be so…


Remember this Spring when I sang?
You seemed unimpressed as I nervously began…

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“You are the reason .
for the change of season.
for all the bliss blooming around…

How do I tell you?
How do I let you know?
In YOU what I found,

A Friend , a Soulmate.
And MYSELF…”

I asked you Why.
As you replied with a sigh,
“Your Name is the loveliest Song.
Your Voice, is the sweetest Symphony.
When YOU are my addiction,
How then could your Song be?”...

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But the Spring is gone.
And so is the Song.
The Autumn is yellowed,
A whitened winter is born.

And I reminisce your memories few…

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Like a drop of dew I grabbed onto,
lost forever, lost YOU.
Like a tune I hummed, right from the soul- warm and true.
Lost the song,  lost YOU.

I thought I would go on, having ‘just’ lost you.
Little did I know
that the lost forever was ME not YOU.

And I reminisce YOU…

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If somehow it could be so…
I could Love you the way you do
and the world wouldn’t know.

Somehow I loved you then.
Somehow I love you still.
Come what may,
but Love I will.

If somehow it could be so.
I could Love you the way you do
and the world wouldn’t know.

A million “bad-byes
but no “Final Farewell“.
No “beginning of an end
because Love leaves this trail…

This trail engraved in my soul,
swallowing me whole.
But just leaving that part with YOU,
That world could have snatched,
But luckily never knew.

If somehow it could be so.
I could Love you the way you do
and the world wouldn’t know…

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PS:
Inspired by the story of a girl I met on the train.
We love.
but more often than not, Love chooses to be unkind.
We part ways.
but more often than not we part ways with ourselves.
We go on.
but more often than not Love is seldom gone.
It remains.
with our immortal remains.

And We Reminisce…

PS: She would always love You.

An Ode to a heavenly couple on earth!!


23rd June got to be a big day…because 25 years back in the year 1986  two strikingly different people made a strikingly same move… they strangled  each other with an alarming weapon of biological warfare…!! 😛

But if something great happened out of it…it was MY inception… 😛

The guy was crazy…could have discovered a “Satpathy’s 4th Law”….challenging the 3 that Newton had discovered ages back…!! but with due regards to Newton..he stopped ! Modesty has always been his ingrained virtue… 😛

The gal— nothing less than a pretty damsel,learnt to tackle the threads of his psyche physics and sew it into a romantic chemistry!!…

The bold Lass, learnt to master d ‘Home Science’…took d  bull by the horns…errr :P…and flipped the Head with the Tail (that follows her always)…and now she’s the HOD! (Head of my Daddy) 😛

He would fool her with all the sweet nothings in d world..

.”the Loreal and Lakmé don’t deserve to touch your lovely face my dear….

U are a marvel among God’s masterpieces…and u better not fool around with his design!!…

The gold..the silver and the diamonds appear like trinkets in your sapphire gaze…please don’t embarrass  them with your ruby red face..!!…

The silk, the brocade shy away from the sheen of your golden skin…why force them on dear??!!”  🙂  😀

And Lo!

She would gently abide..pretending to have believed every bit, making peace with the fact that she loved being fooled!!…and what a fool he was to have thought that God created Beauty…and beauty alone.. with no brains….!!

She would toss her part too…

She would know he forgets everything..

the taste…the smell…the day..the night…

But Nope! he would never ever have her out of sight…

Now it was her turn to fool him with all her might!! 😛

Some grass she would cook…

and give one damn enticing look…!! 😛

he would then relish it like the ambrosia from heaven…

reveling in her gaze from 7 till 7… 🙂 😛

Fooling each other and being delighted fools…

They would formulate their own LoVe RuLeS !!…

Yeah,,If Ignorance is bliss …

then it has to be THIS!!

hmmmm..a nice long song….:P 😛

and interestingly enough apart from sharing their lives..their souls…their breath with each other..they would also share the same Bday cake…!!

The whacky guy born on 26th of Jan and his ‘jaan’ on the 27th..they would merrily munch the same cake on the midnight of 26th…when the world slumped in slumber…and the 26th stealthily transformed into a 27th..as HE transformed into a SHE and a she into THEY…..:)

…..And Then someday… the guy and d gal got to have to have 2 kids…The kids were great…atleast not as crazy as them! 😛

But that would not suffice…They had a hobby of borrowing kids..be it the neighbour’s or the family’s…and just any size would do!!…

(NOTE: All characters in the pic below are real and true to the best of my knowledge..but the turnkey is… each one is borrowed and none is the biological offspring of the two !! :P)

….well then 25 silver years passed by…the fights would melt into laughter…the tears would transform into long serene beaches of tacit understandings…the sweat they put into the relation would sublime into estates of eternal bliss…..

and the story would go on….

their would be no ‘your family’..’my family’…

there would be no ‘you better understand that’…..

but there would be only ‘us’…’ours’ and ….

“we can brave all storms together… no matter what..”…

and the story would go on… and on..

the  sonnet would be unsung…

but they will never forget the tune….

Februaries will come and go….

but they would always celebrate the June…

This June, the Big day came and silently went by…There were no celebrations, no gifts , no parties…there were no kids..neither their own ..nor d borrowed ones…. 😛

Just that worrying about all the things in and around them ..they had no time to worry about something about them…

But they knew …very well knew..that love does not need any reason to celebrate…love does not need a date to glorify its existence…love does not need any pompous poem to weave a ballad…..

Love just knows… that it grows…and that it goes on…

” life is a celebration of togetherness…”

He knows that she knows…

and she knows that..even if she doesn’t know…she still knows…

….because he believes that she knows…..

…that there would come many such 25 years of togetherness…no greed of gold…no quest for platinum…nor appetite for any diamond…

JUST this silver….humble..modest and sublime….

Just this silver…humming the love ‘ lovely story’…of an ordinary two…

…….I remember…I and my sister, asking Mom..“.whom do you love most…? Dad or ME?…”  she would gently chuckle and say..” YOUR Dad”…because he gave me you,…. 🙂

….their  sonnet would be unsung…

but they will never forget the tune….

the Februaries will come and go….

but they would always celebrate the June… 🙂

 

 

Happy Independence day to MEEE!!


If you think you are going to find something about …”How India struggled to get its Freedom?…How efficiently have we been handling our precious Independence?…Have we flourished enough building Valuables..or building up  Values?…Have we been true to our state all this while..or have we made corruption as a core option??….Have we made Commonwealth bring pride to India or have we made Commonwealth the wealth exploited from common  people…..

Then …..I must Say SORRY…..!!!

Having made you read all this long…I want to admit I don’t know what’s happening in India…because I don’t know what has happened to me and why…So I remind you…on reading this you are not going to acquire the snapshot of India and its 63 years of Independence…But you may continue with your own fancy… 🙂

We had our Independence Day celebrations in Office…and it being India’s Premium Research organization… having the Minister for Science and Technology as its Vice President and Prime Minster as its President…we were expected to put up a great show…

Hot and humid as it was…I was getting confused whether I was nervous…or whether it was just everybody sweating profusely…as the ink from the papers I clung to… gradually began to fade away…

I had to compere the entire session… and sing … a solo and one in chorus…

It was just 40 mins that would suffice for all the show…as the Minister had to go…

So I began…the taste of Devnagri on my tongue and the melody of such pompous Hindi to my ears felt really great…I felt proud of myself… that I was doing all this …and that being presented to people  of such profile…

I would not say I did a commendable job…but yeah neither did the microphones….

But then filling in my eyes with the sight of a Minister who had graduated from Berkley …a highly Qualified Director General….. (all the while smiling at me)…and three top notch IAS officers…I said to myself…whether great..good or groggy..I would have to do it..because if I didn’t then nobody else would…. 🙂

And I held on…..

Well first time in the 11 months…we were presented with a Certificate of Appreciation by the Minister…He whispered in a fraction of a second…You are running the entire Show?!…GOOD!…you sang well too…”

I couldn’t even smile back….had to run for compering the next event !! 😀 😦

So came the end…and the numbers dwindled away…I stood there confused as everybody gave their share of opinion…on what it was and what else it could have been…

The very people that I work in close association with said…It was too long…it lacked vibrance …It was too sad… you didn’t look glad…it was melodious but a bit too tad!!

In short BAD!! 😦

I knew it wasn’t so…as a bunch of people complimented me on how gracefully I had done Lataji’s  ‘Aye Mere watan k logo’..it being such a difficult song…some were really impressed at the way I compered and the contents of my script….some said I looked confident …and so on… 🙂

Well can’t say I wasn’t disheartened with the way people could play such great critics without ever caring for the other person’s feelings…I simply stood there gulping each word in…

The saddest part was people who said so were all those whom I face each day of the 7 day working week we have here…who knew how I was dragged to the office at 9 and came back home all withered and spent at 8…with the humongous task of compering in Hindi…last night…

I programmed myself to shield my sensitive heart…and told it…if it wasn’t worth appreciating…it wasn’t fair criticizing too…So my stupid heart just stop being so sensitive!!

We were taken to snack at the India International Centre to while away time as my boss didn’t have the keys to go back home…we were there..

On a call from Daddy…my heart again ailing …he was really down with a burning temperature for the past few days..He had come to Delhi..stayed at my place..washed all my clothes…stuffed my mouth with bread and Jam…as I typed an email for office…

On 14th He had a flight to catch up at 11:45 back home…and I had a meeting to attend at 10…So I had to leave him home with a hasty bye…to attend that really important meeting…

With the Dosa a few more words of analysis of Today’s show fought their way into me…as I remembered my Daddy…as I remembered how hard I had struggled last night…writing the script in Hindi ( ofcoz with tremendous help from one of my colleagues over the phone)..till 2 into the night…..

Who knows what worth it was !!

Then I decided what worth it actually was…hurrying through the dosa…

He said coffee for five to the waiter…and I yelled “ No a TEA for me please!!”…

I never was this happy sipping onto tea before…

Since Sept 15, 2009…I had loved the Coffee…I had loved the dosa…idly …and Upma too…I had loved to claim “YES SIR!!” as my favourite words…I had loved to see my puffy eyes doing both the horse and donkey stuff late into the night…I had loved to console myself…”a sincere try never fails…my work would certainly speak for me one day…yeah some day he would certainly utter my name first when he had ultimately remembered it…yeah someday I would make all of them happy……”     HUH!

But then I had forgotten…touching my pillow each night I should have atleast made one person happy in the day…either them..or me and that one person was certainly never them…and that one person certainly wasn’t me either!!

So…I sipped on delightedly as I formulated and engraved onto my mind…the decision of a long fought battle…

The glass doors of the IIC…shut behind us…stepping onto the sun…I gaped madly at the laal Batti on  Sir’s vehicle…as if seeing it for the first time…I smiled a smile…a smile that swung me off and onto my dream… 😀 🙂

I said to God…will you give me that one??….although Red’s never been my favourite colour…And Pink is what I like most….. But I would love to have this one in red….!!!! 😛

I sighed..some things/people have their value recognized…only when we come to know we can never have them again… But then…… SO BE IT!!

Got down from the car..there was an assortment of kids…all sizes, shapes and colours available…trying hard to put up an Independence day show for the Apartment residents…

Parents were lined up in the scorching sun…

I had nothing to do…Nothing here in Delhi..No Friends..no family..no kids (ofcoz) 😛 !!

So I stayed back..clicking on the camera..absent mindedly…

I could see kids perform…their eyes searching for their maa on the stage…mothers more anxious than their performer kids…

I could see children running back to their parents…who would then proudly say..how great their performance was…how sweet her voice sounded..how smart he seemed while he danced….

Which if one fairly judged was partly true and partly not….But for parents there is never any partly ….they are just entirely..entirely for their kids.. 🙂

I was reminded of school…of my Mommy who would dress me so aptly for each and every performance that I did….how she would drop me anywhere and everywhere I wished for with her zooming black Kinetic Honda…how she would yell at Daddy who was too shy to tear the crowd and step to the front for clicking my pic while I performed….

I missed them madly…tears flowed down my cheek…I had been yelling at my Stupid heart for being so touchy feely since the morning….I had calmed it down too…But these memories just broke me down beyond repair…

Suddenly the job…the life here seemed meaningless…

I opened the keys into my flat…the past 11 months had made me forget myself…my family… as if I had locked myself up and thrown away the keys…

I had forgotten how I hate to be so lonely…How I should miss home more often…so that I don’t miss life… and How I should respect my likes and dislikes as much as I did so for others…

I had almost forgotten…”How much I had loved to be myself…before…Before I earned this fat salary…”

While at school…money never filled my pockets…but Individuality and self respect filled my soul…

Having struggled in Delhi alone for the past 11 months had given me an illusion of Independence…of freedom…But I had never realized what a poor miserable slave I had become..trying to please those who were not even my own…how I had curbed my freedom…  my dreams….for the sake of others…..Shame on me!

Now I have all that money and all that money can buy…But I just couldn’t buy the ability to dream…the pride in being myselffree…fragile yet fearless!!

This Independence Day…I will buy myself some freedom..Shop for some expensive dreams…. that when I keep in my wallet will not let me sleep for the fear of being lost….and I would hold them dear…

I would give myself some Independence to be the one I have always been . This Independence Day….I would make myself realize how Independent I actually should be!!

I laughed to myself…as I unlocked the door…I will unlock myself today too! 🙂

I promise Daddy…I would get that one for you…I hope you don’t mind red..as you have always been colour blind!!

I promise Mommy….I would never grossly deviate from the way you had manufactured me Fragile…yet Fearless!!… 😛

I promise myself….I would never ever love the Coffee again… 😛

Hey!! Happy Independence day to MEEEEE…!!