In a country like India, a Twenty Point program is a sine qua non for all planning and ‘Pursuit of Happiness’. So when today I suddenly noticed how unhappy I was with my
awful awesome Life, it struck me to have my Twenty point program as well.
Being a twenty-nothing myself, I jotted down some of the ‘facts’ I believe to be true.
And I would be utterly obliged if you did too. 😀
Because howsoever it may be a cliche,
I can’t deny that Ignorance is Bliss! 😉
So in search for that peace,
I started off this piece…
1. I am unemployed By choice and not by compulsion. I am a Software Engineer with hardwired intent to master in Humanities. Hence a Post Graduate in Human Rights Law and a Post graduate in Sociology too. I am just a PhD away from teaching at Oxford 😛
This is frictional unemployment. Even globalization couldn’t find me a suitable role profile to match my excellently erratic back ground! Shame on it!
2. I have always worked hard. All that I have achieved is a direct consequence of it. All that I have not- Blame it on my Luck.
3. I am not a cry baby. Courageous people reflect their true emotions. I am courageous to cry 24×7, without worrying about your tolerance levels.
4. I am not
fat plump. I am healthy. But If you are not convinced, you should know..My clothes shrunk, I didn’t expand.
5. If you still think I did! My recent increase in diameter and circumference are directly proportional to my dedication for my Husband. He cannot lose weight, so I am catching up. Indian women are epitomes of sacrifice.
6.My husband is tall.
I don’t wear heels because they are bad for my back bone aaand I think Elephants are cuter than giraffes.
7. I can buy clothes, cosmetics, shoes, bags, accessories… and the world. I am Rich.
But I don’t buy them. Not because the “housewife-allowance” is meager to me. But because I hate the culture of consumerism. 😛
8.I am beautiful. I was born to feature in fairness lotion ads. But Hard work and the Tropical Sun tanned my modelling prospects 😛
9. I am a good cook. I like what I cook. And more importantly, I can eat what I cook. My husband eats in his office cafeteria because he is fond of fast-food more than his wife.
Sometimes I accidentally
cook well mess up. It’s because while I cook, my MIL (Mother in Law) instructs, My SIL (Sister in law) OVERsees and like you know- too many cooks spoil the broth!
10. I am not lazy.
But All I make is salad and oats because- I like to eat healthy, Live longer. Also its the best way to censure unnecessary expenses and growing tummies ( there are 5 of them, including mine)
11. I am a master of all trades, jack of some more. Singing, writing, painting, gardening, cooking(under improvement),dancing(to my in-laws tunes)… I do it all!!
I am famous for nothing specific though, because I am yet to decide, which art I would like to be famous for.
12. Especially, I am a prolific poet and a terrific author. But nobody reads my blog (inspite of zealous requests) because- Every successful artist is rejected a trillion times before being inducted into the Hall-of-Fame. I am no exception!
F.A.ME – Forever Away from ME! huh!!
13. I cross the road with difficulty. But I can ride the scooter, drive the car, manoeuver the MiG and sail the ship.
I have the confidence. But so does my father. He is confident that it would turn out be an expensive affair. ( My last accident cost him Rs 25000— 5000 for an artificial tooth, 20000 for the braces. It was a scooter accident and the scale of damage was limited to one tooth. On a larger scale, with a larger vehicle and all of the 32 teeth… oops! perhaps I would rather agree than pay 32 x 5000 + 25000 !!!)
Oh my God! I wish I were a dentist. They bite a hell lot of money on your bites! I might try pursuing that someday too 😉
14. I am not slow- in reading, reacting, reflecting, reaching…
I finish 40 when you flag off 400 because- I am a perfectionist. I believe in quality, not quantity. Mind It!!!
15. I am usually a silent, tacit person who doesn’t speak unless the need arises. It’s not my fault that the need arises so very often.
16. I am an amicable soul. People don’t like me? It’s because they are Jealous! Now,who wouldn’t!! 😉 😛
17. I am a little too angry, impatient, unpredictable and emotionally turbulent sometimes. But don’t you think it can be a Genetic disorder? Now that’s called Manufacturing defect! 😛
18. Despite this my Parents love me more than Honey, their Pet
(My nick name is Rocky and her’s is Honey. In India, 99/100 people assume, I am the Dog and she’s the daughter! x-( )
19. I am not worried or desperate. This is just a prolooooonged bad phase.
After every dark winter comes a bright summer.
(and I would certainly be alive to witness it without being frozen to death! Hoorray!)
Until then I would wait and meditate.
20. I am not Greedy. All I want is everything.
God!! Is it too much to ask for?