Tag Archives: wait

When winds of change gallop


Taking out only the necessary fingers from inside the blanket, I refuse to come out of hibernation. A severe head ache bangs in my head with too many thoughts struggling to prioritize themselves. A call from a girl I have never seen, never met, never loved, never hated…wakes me up. Why do Residues of relations that come and go out of your life like a boomerang, refuse to fade into oblivion, refuse to die off??

It amazes me how and why we  remember people sometimes. How and why we pretend to forget some and How and why we wish we could ever forget some others…

I look at the beams of sunlight coming from the asbestos roof over me. I am amazed at how grumpy I can be when the pillow seems not too soft at home and how when alone I can curl up to battle the cold on a bed that’s exactly fits me…

There was a day when  I was scared of change. There came a day when I made up my mind to play all those games I was scared of . There came this day when all I know is change: Change myself, Camouflage sometimes and Cast off those myriad masks sometimes…

Because  I know you won’t change for me.

So I put up those colored glasses and see you as I wish to see you.

In the concrete closet I am in, waiting for a gift to come soon, I stop counting   hours… realizing that life is a long wait. A mysterious force within gives me inconceivable faith that this is the ultimate trial before the triumph.

There are no Do’s and Dont’s here. But some instructions are implicit. I know I cannot sing here and whispering on the phone inside the blanket, careful enough that I don’t make too much noise makes me go crazy sometimes. And the wonderful washroom perfectly fits me…I can never slip off and fall in it as I usually did before 🙂

Life offers its share of Laughter and Lynches when you least expect it to.

Well … My dream of being a silent, sober missy is finally being answered. 😛

But as I attempt to hum my favourite song…my lips fumble and the tune is lost…I am scared that I might lose my voice some day soon…

I stare at the ‘bird in the cage’, the only fancy thing that hangs on from the roof. Rolling on with time, I rolled off all those things that could be categorized as unnecessary into large cartons that were taped shut forever. The only thing that was somehow  left out was this.

I am reminded of the times when wind chimes would hum into my ears with the rain, with the breeze. But when winds of change gallop… chimes have made way for the cage here.

Once the bells in the wind chime struggled to stay still when the breeze would tickle them at length… and today the bird in the cage struggles to flutter, if only there would be a breeze…

There are so many firsts that take us back in life, that we are bound to deal with such grace as if we have been doing that all through. If we clench our fist, we get a fist in turn. But if we open up our palm, time tugs at our finger and shows us the way…

I Hope.

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Come back Home…


Daddy I'm waiting

Daddy I’m tired of closing my eyes…
please come out if you’re hiding and let me hide.
Daddy you are cheating, don’t you realize?
Daddy please hug me and take me by your side…

Daddy, I promise I would always get an ‘A+’…
Daddy, I promise whenever you say ‘No’ I would never fuss…

Daddy please stop hiding…
Trust me daddy…my eyes are hurting….

without you

It’s raining again…
and you are not here.
They tell me you’re gone.
and I should learn to bear.

I want to see that whacky smile on Raina’s face….
I want to simper at her Question..and Ignore when she says..
” Mommy what are you doing…”

I want to close my umbrella and get into yours…
I want you to chide  me..” Grow up Dear! it’s been 12 years…
The kid is watching…can’t you behave??…
Stop being silly, stupid and naive!”

I promise I would never badger you with tea..when you want your coffee..
I promise when you get late… I would never get huffy.
I can’t believe you are gone…and  why should I?
they can never force me to bid you good bye…

The coffee is getting cold…
Please come back home.

It’s raining again..
and I am alone…

Come back son

Son, don’t you think you punished me a bit too more…
It’s been ages now that I am waiting at the door…

Come back home, you promised you will…
There’s a torturing silence no shriek could kill.

I promise you, I would never pick a strife…
She’s as much my daughter as she’s your wife…

I swear I would never smuggle sugar into my tea…
just tell me that you will never leave me.

She’s young , and pale and draped in white…
I can just beg God to take away my sight.

I try pestering her to stir a dispute…
But the day you were gone she has resolved to be mute.

Why did you give me this agony I never before knew?
Son if can’t come back, please take me with you….
Please Son, take me with you…

P.S:     The Mumbai blasts shook the world a bit and India a bit more…But it shook beyond repair,the families who lost their whole world with it ….

With more such instances on the rise in the world over…In India, in Norway..just to name a few recent ones… I ponder how has man forgotten to be human?

The one who goes is somebody’s son, somebody’s Father, somebody’s everything…as much as the one who stays and kills….

How can they overlook this greater similarity and pick up a difference that doesn’t even exist??

I could do nothing more than just write and So I did…and I want some people to know that they can do much more than just Hate.

May god bless the departed souls… and May God bless the ones who departed with their loved ones but are bound to stay back.