Tag Archives: warmth

Will Somebody give me a Good Morning!!


Opening my eyes with the rising sun, vision searching for the Ganeshji poster on the wall…I pray to God to give me a Good Day…a 24 hours that are fresh and new.… specifically  a Good Morning…because a Good Morning heralds a good day…

A couple of ‘good mornings’ go over the phone….the numbers just rise and fall like a sine wave…But I just don’t want those words on the line…those voices over the Nokia 3600 I own …remind me ceaselessly “ You are precisely 36 hrs away from a place called home…”

The rest of the things fall in place mechanically until 8:45 am…as if I have been programmed and hard wired to do so…  I get into the bus stuffing my ears with the ear phones…and hush the voices inside me to a deafening silence….it’s unsafe having a wagging tongue these days…specially for me, I being a person who suffers from an ailment called Pressure of Speech 😛 !!

Perfectly posing a plastic curve on my chapped lips…and faking a twinkle in my eyes, confident that my glasses would keep the dark circles from the spotlight…  I try hard not to hear anything other than the music on my iPod … and neither the voices outside nor the voice within….both being equally disturbing for me….The lump in the throat keeps growing as I hear but cease to listen…and as I cease to listen, I cease to open my mouth….

Passing by trees, buildings, stray dogs, millions of vehicles, trillions of people doing zillions of stuff…something I struggle to pass by is Myself…

Then comes that India Gate…I’m not going to tell you why…but yes I don’t want to go around it twice a day….

With all those…and much more…the Head Quarters gate comes pretty soon….ready to gulp me down for the day…A nervous attempt at crossing the road turns successful… as I flounder my way to those Great Glass doors….

These days they hit my nose badly… every day these days… I push my glasses over my nose and wish myself a Good Morning….

I don’t know what his name was…I don’t know where & why he had to leave….I don’t know since when I had acquired such a liking for him….and I don’t know why I miss him too…

All I know is…he will never know …because nobody knows him, nobody would tell him and he would never read this…

O No! You don’t need to span your imaginations wild….He was just a person…a person who took care that those great Glass doors didn’t hit my nose….

I sometimes wondered…how could someone look so warm and hearty in the worn out uniform of a security guard…

I dedicate a whole 10 mins to my mirror, struggling to disentangle my curly hair…and all I have is a mess rather than grace, warmth or that hearty look…!!!?? Utterly Unfair!!

A booming Good morning would warm my ears…and that lump in the throat would instantly melt away with a …”Good Morning Bhaiya….Kaise hain aap?”…Instant exchange of innocent grins…a peek or two at the missing lunch packets and for sure the following frowns at our fast fading flesh…would all go by in just 30 seconds…

30 seconds…a good enough time for replacing that plastic smile by a silly grin…for clearing the lump in the throat and making way for my verbose version again….

Hmmm…The Great Glass doors would then be flung wide open and I would enter regally without hitting my nose on it….carrying that grin with me…. along with that Good morning….

Over the day…the number of questions we were put through by him, were directly proportional to the in and outs we made…they would usually range somewhere between “Khaana khaya ya nahi???….” at the lunch break…to “Kahaan jaa rahe ho itni dhoop mein….??” And then a “ Byeeeee Bhaiya” at the end of the day…

That was all….

We came to know one day…he was about to leave…the contract with office had concluded…It’s hard to say that I felt even a tinge of sadness…just that I and my friend thought we would gift bhaiya with something…he was one of those few people who would give a smile without the thought of having something in return….he would be happy if we did so ….

But we never knew why Lajpat Nagar seemed miles away…and his last day in office had already passed long back….silent and unnoticed…

It’s been months now… and there’s this new person at the Glass doors…He’s just perfect in every way a Security Guard could be….he has a good discretion of Designations and Seniority, gives the grandest of the salutes to the most senior of the bosses…the only thing is he knows it too much and he uses his discretion….

You can’t spot a crease or curve on his pompous uniform…but neither can you spot a curve on his face…

Millions of people walk in and out of our lives…touching our lives in million little ways…but while we go on….those little things seem too miniscule to be worth noticing…. Sometimes those million people go away… never even knowing they were something to us…and never even letting us know we were something to them….

And we go on…just the same filling our lives with all those things that are “worth noticing, worth considering, worth rejoicing”…But with all the delight we have for having those…why do the voids still gape??….the voids for those million little things…those trivial things…never worth noticing before…..

God!! You are too good at Mathematics!! How can you really work out so many permutation combinations that each entity in this world is so inimitable…so irreplaceable… that they can create a void in our perfectly filled lives…as they walk out…??!!….I’m baffled….

It’s so unfair that we can always look back…but can never go back…..

And today..just like every other day of my life…..I look back…being unable to go back and claim all those significant things worth noticing….worth bringing back to fill in the voids…

You have gone …and here…I don’t carry the Good Morning with me any more…I guess you always declared that for me… I took it from you prima facie and kept it within throughout the day…you gave me a Good Morning…and I made it a good day….

Today I have to find something good about the morning…before considering it so…I don’t know why…but I can’t declare it for myself… and I do find myself longing for that declaration…

Today as I walk on…rubbing my nose on the stairs to the 1st floor….I think I remember you….No I actually miss you…and I miss those Good Mornings…

I wish I could have them back….

Will Somebody give me a Good Morning??!!!

Wasn’t I the “SOMEBODY” this time?


Somebody..just another person from somebody’s family…n that somebody already a long distance relation….UFFF!!..I wish Mommy would stop acting like my Public Relations Officer…
My Mum’s brother’s wife…..Wel I love her ..she’s my ‘Mami‘..Okk
Then comes her sister…Hmmm… I have been friends with her since school.. but I just call Her ‘Masi’…

But then..come her In-Laws into the scenario….OOOOO my God..how do I ever know why I am to be extra nice to them… ????!!

But then who is my PRO??..my MUM..and there’s no ‘NO’ that she would listen…

 So here’s the story finally….

One fine evening I set out in the Metros from Central Secretariat to Rajiv Chowk and then from Rajiv Chowk to Dwarka Sector-9….I was to meet my sister Golu and Mami who had come to visit me in Dilli…I being a ‘busy’ person never could give them time..Office was all I saw every day from 9 to 9 and the four walls of my flat was what they saw every day from dawn to dusk…

Frustration drove them away from my place to my Mami’s sister’s place…

Time had already come..and they were supposed to be leaving the coming Saturday..I really had no option but to go there and bring them back home…

 So I set out….

For me crossing the road had always aroused something  called “crossophobia”….But then fighting off the traffic and getting to the Metro Station I managed to get a ticket to Dwarka…

My colleagues Shilpa and Chhavi were with me..but I never stopped panicking…A small town girl ….with a small chicken heart!!

My Mami’s Brother-in-Law had come to pick me up. I reached home, freshened up….I was soooo happy to see my sister…again..

Engrossed in each other…we enjoyed a lot…Well…she was my GOLU after all !!!

Calls from office kept on blasting my head off…But then I was audacious enough to switch off my cell phone and take 2 days leave…

A day we spent at their place hardly doing anything and…just punching each other as soft-toys….rolling on with laughter and basking in the warmth that childhood sometimes offers  J

…Seemed as if this Happiness would just never end…. J

But then..moments tick away….and they do that really fast ..

We had to spend the second day of my leave at my place …and they were to leave the very next day… L

 Early in the morning at 5:30 again “somebody” ….woke us up…Golu and I were cuddling together in a velvet blanket and the very idea of having to leave behind this bliss was terrorizing…

What on earth makes those ”somebodys” awaken us at this weird hour when we are not supposed to be leaving the place before 9….??!!??

OOOO my god!!! Yet another Long Chain of emotions…for a long chain of SOMEBODYs…

MY MOTHER’S…BROTHER’S…WIFE’S….SISTER’S….FATHER-IN-LAW..was returning back to Orissa and we were supposed to wake up and say him a ‘sweet’ good bye…!!!

I could not express my discontent at being commanded to leave the bed..because I had always pretended to be ‘The Nice Girl’…but somehow irritation was simmering within ..as I sat there completely..glum…

 Everybody was happily chatting with him…but suddenly the old man realized that he could not trace me…. I was too silent to be myself J… and so he asked “Where’s Raina??”…

I don’t know….but I must admit..”THAT SOMEBODY”…had just spoken SOMETHING that stirred me from within…

….Two days had passed pretty swiftly….

He chose to be a silent old man and I chose to be the bubbly brat..!..

… I hadn’t bothered to speak a kind word to him  since the day I had come and touched his feet…as a mark of greeting…

Yes .. I must admit my Mum could inculcate the culture…but I guess…I could not assimilate it well….

Immediately after that, we defined our boundaries..He took the Common Sitting room and we confined ourselves to the bedroom…..We never spoke…

 ..And all of a sudden he called out my name..utterly strange..for an Old man of 70 to remember it…. and even stranger to acknowledge the my presence..at such a moment…

A quick question sprang up in my Conscience…

Wasn’t I the “SOMEBODY”…this time..??

…even before dawn had set in, I had seen him tip-toe through the balcony door..careful enough not to wake us up…straight … to the Tulsi plant..in a wet dhoti to offer his prayers….

my eyes were half closed then..or Perhaps..was I completely blind..??

 A tinge of respect for this old man…seeped into me….as I spoke to myself…I would no longer term him “SOMEBODY”…

 ….Now back from the self talk world..

I presumed my sweet self….and said that…”Aja were you looking for me?”

He then walked towards me and my sister and handed us each a crumpled 100 rupee note….

Speechless as I was …I noticed Payal holding a similar note…She was his own grand-daughter…

 I felt as if… I would choke … guilt piercing me from within….I tried dusting it off my body…but stubborn as it was….it stayed on…

  …Perhaps they realize the essence of life…

 Perhaps they know…Life is not just a Rat race to be won…there’s more to it…

And even if it’s one….then it’s okay to halt down….take time to gobble down the bait…… be caught in the mouse-trap….sometimes…

Because who knows!!?? ..how real is the bait and how mythical is the “real cheese”???!!!

 Anyways…

Today when I manage to earn a fair salary….the hundred rupee note should have felt humble on my palms….but then…”SOMEBODY…”..SOMEBODY special….has humbled my heart instead…. taught me the value of regard and appreciation towards life…the joy of sharing my life with millions of SOMEBODYs around me….the delight on touching their lives in a million miniscule ways…as they  have touched mine…

So..then when I would look down from heaven..I can give my best grin and say..”Look !!….people down there still say….there was SOMEBODY…who never forgot to smile…and… she was SOMEBODY …somebody really special….”